Feeling the Pain of Another Jew

The period of the “nine days,” and Tisha B’Av itself, is a period where we recount all of the suffering of the Jewish people, during our long and bitter exile. As a people, we were humiliated in every way imaginable.

As Jews, we are taught to feel the pain of others. It appears that there is a group in society who are going through constant pain, but are neglected and often do not even know how to cry out for help.

In 2016, a book was written in French and Hebrew by an attorney, Sophie Cohen, titled, “The Predator Spouse.” At the time, she had twenty years of experience dealing with divorce cases where one of the spouses clearly fit the definition of a “Predator Spouse.”

Ms. Cohen outlined this personality disorder known as “narcissism.” She gave numerous examples of case studies with uncanny duplications of how one spouse is capable of completely destroying the other.

This is not done with physical abuse, which is taken more seriously by the police and the courts. We are speaking of a systematic verbal abuse that gnaws away at the victim, where in the end, they lose all sense of self worth, self confidence, and dignity.

The situation is so serious that it often can lead to suicide and mental illness. These predators are found everywhere, and are very cunning and manipulative. They prey on weaker and more naive personalities. I recently heard of a case, where a woman freed herself from a horrible marriage that lasted fifty years. Finally, she is happy and free. Better than late than never.

As we focus on the suffering of our people, we should also focus on the silent sufferers of “Spousal Predators.” We must do all that we can to help these unfortunate individuals free themselves from their personal bondage, and be able to live their lives with dignity and self respect.