Honoring Parents

Rav Kook gives an interesting explanation to justify Yakov leaving Israel to go to Charan. He addresses the problem of being away from his parents, that did not allow him to perform the Mitzva of honoring his parents.

Yakov was away for a total of twenty-two years. This was the same number of years that Yosef was separated from him, when he was sold as a slave to Egypt. The additional fourteen years that he spent studying Torah, were not considered a violation of not honoring parents.

Rav Kook felt that there was a justification to be away from his parents, because of the danger that Eisav threatened. Because of this danger, Yakov was aware that the Torah commands us, וחי בהם, “And you shall live by the laws.” The negation of כיבוד אב ואם, honoring parents, was not one of the laws that one had to risk giving up his life.

There are references where Yakov did express remorse that he was separated so long. He was not aware of the extent of Laban’s deception and dishonesty.

Many people who have made Aliya, have been troubled with a certain degree of guilt for leaving their parents behind. The positive commandment to live in Israel, outweighs the Mitzva of honoring parents.

It is a good idea to reiterate from time to time, that honoring parents is a special Mitzva. We have an obligation to show gratitude to our parents for all that they do for us. And it is our responsibility to care for our elderly parents, when they can no longer care for themselves. They are partners in creation with Hashem.

We must not take our parents for granted. We must always show them respect, and give them their dignity. This is a very difficult Mitzva that we must cherish. We should be grateful if we have parents that we can show our love and appreciation. We should hope that we are not confronted with a Yakov and Yosef situation, where we are separated for a lengthy period of time.