Loving Rebuke

There are forty-eight ways to acquire the Torah, according to a Mishna in Pirkei Avot. One of these ways, is to love rebuke.

It is also written in the Book of Mishlei, an excellent quote regarding rebuke. “Rebuke a wise man, and you gain a friend. Rebuke a fool, and you gain an enemy.”

It is obvious that people would much rather hear praise and compliments, rather than being shown our flaws. But once a person elevates himself to higher levels of spirituality, he realizes that he doesn’t need compliments and praise. They might not be sincere, and he must not take such praise too seriously. If he does, he might be led to arrogance, which will certainly distance himself from G-d.

The correct attitude that we are supposed to have, is to constantly be working at self improvement. If there is a rabbi, trusted friend, or spouse, that can help us function on a higher level, we should welcome it.

Often we made not even be aware that there is something about our personality that needs fixing. When we are shown how we can learn how to treat people better, or learn to have a greater sensitivity towards others, we should be grateful that someone cared enough to point this out.

We sometimes have an unclear view of what true love really is. If it’s a relationship that lacks an openness to help their loved one get back on track, it isn’t true love. If we love someone, we want to help them, even if what we tell them might be hard to hear. Our silence can lead to very bad consequences, as a person might be in a rut, where he makes a string of bad decisions. We rebuke, because of our love.

Of course we must learn how to rebuke, and to do it in a way that is not hurtful. The Rabbis say that words that come from the heart, will enter the heart of the recipient of these words.

In our path of self awareness and self improvement, loving rebuke, will be a key ingredient, to help us reach our goal.