The Ideal Jewish Wife

It was Eliezer’s task to find a suitable wife for Yitzchak. Avraham was not prepared to allow his son to marry a woman from Canaan, and Yitzchak was too holy to be allowed to leave Eretz Yisrael. The task was given to the faithful servant, Eliezer.

We learn from the story the special qualities that one should look for, in finding a wife. Eliezer realized that Chessed was the number one attribute that Yitzchak’s future wife needed to possess.

He immediately saw this extreme kindness in Rivka. Her enthusiasm in feeding the camels, was remarkable. It was not easy to draw so much water for these thirsty animals.

She also demonstrated Chessed when she invited Eliezer to lodge with her. Welcoming guests is a big act of kindness. She cared about the feelings of other.

In my classes over the years, I instructed my students to look for a spouse that showed a love for Torah study. A further priority was that self improvement was essential. We are here in this world to work on ourselves, and become better people. And I also pointed out that seeing jealousy in a person’s nature, would mean that they will never be happy. Jealousy is a warning not to pursue building a relationship with that person.

Eliezer’s search for a wife taught us that Chessed was the number one priority in searching for a wife. She must possess the same good heartedness as Rivka, in order to have the foundation necessary for a happy marriage.