Power of Speaking Softly

Parshat Vayigash is one of the most emotional Parshiot of the entire Torah. We learn of the reunion of Yakov and Yosef, and how Yosef revealed himself to his brothers.

Rabbi Twerski has a unique interpretation as to how Yehuda convinced Yosef that he should not take Binyamin as hostage. He did this because he was a great communicator. He never raised his voice and always spoke in a calm, soothing voice. In Kohelet it says, “Gentle words of the wise are heard above the shouts of a king.”

If you want what you have to say to have merit, say it softly. Shouting and harsh words demonstrate the weakness of your argument. Speaking softly and gently will enable you to be heard.

Yehuda’s successful plea to Yosef should teach us a lesson in communication with others. The idea of דיבור בנחת, speaking calmly is the main ingredient in conquering anger.

Husbands and wives need to work on never raising their voices. This cannot lead to anything positive. And disagreements should never be settled when one of the sides is still upset. It is best to wait until all is calm, when there is the best chance of settling matters.

Until now, we never looked at Yehuda as the one that taught us that we must speak in a calm voice. He also showed us that this method actually works.