Comforting Mourners

After the death of Yakov, the brothers assumed that Yosef will now punish them for his sale. He reassured his brothers that he fully understood that this was part of a Divine plan, and he has no malice towards them.

They were all dealing with the sadness of the great loss of their father, Yakov Avinu. The Torah says, וינחם אותם וידבר על לבם, that Yosef comforted them, and spoke words of consolation.

We get a glimpse from here as to how we are to comfort mourners. The loss of a loved one, is a very painful and traumatic experience. Rabbi Twerski brings the adage, “Joy that is shared is doubled. Pain that is shared is halved.”

Sharing sorrow, helps the sufferer, bear it. Feelings can be conveyed without words. One heart can speak to another without words. This is the reason we are not supposed to initiate a conversation when visiting a Shiva house. Just being present and letting the mourners know that you are there for them, is a comfort in itself.

Yosef helped set the guidelines as to how to know the proper conduct of comforting mourners, or those who are in pain.