Do a Favor-Lose a Friend

There is a fascinating commentary related to the giving of the Ten Commandments. If we look closely at the Pasuk, we are told that the people were afraid that their hearts would leave them, if they heard more than the first two commandments directly from Hashem. Although G-d agreed with their request by saying, “Who can assure that this heart shall remain theirs to fear me,” Moshe was not happy.

He felt that the people were ingrates, because they should have asked for a heart that would be able to fear Hashem. Because they did not make this request, Moshe saw this behavior as evidence that they did not wish to be beholden to Hashem. They were afraid that if they were given this gift of a heart that would fear Hashem, they would owe something for that precious gift.

We see here an incredible lesson about human nature. There are some people who have no problem showing gratitude for a kindness or gift they might receive. But there is another type of individual who resents the person who gifted him.

The Rebbe of Bobov said it best, when he noticed someone who clearly did not like him, as evidenced by his distant behavior. The Rebbe commented, “I don’t know why this person resents me so much. I never did him a favor!”

There is so much truth in this statement. I have seen over the years, numerous instances, where I managed to help people, and these same people, resented me for it.

I was not aware of this character flaw that is so prevalent. There are individuals who would rather not be beholden to the person that helped them, or did them a favor. And instead of being grateful, they show resentment. This is why Moshe Rabbeinu did not like seeing that character flaw in the nation, during the Ten Commandments. He wanted them to learn how to overcome resentment and show true gratitude.