The IDF and Jewish History

My Bar Mitzva included a short speech in Yiddish designed to make my grandmother cry. The year was 1966 and for immigrants from the Old Country to hear their “Mama Lashon”, or mother tongue, from their grandson, was indeed very moving. I only remember the first line of that speech. It began with the words, “Today I am a soldier in the army of G-d.” Later, the Chabad movement also used this idea of being in the “Army of Hashem”. There are times when history moves so quickly, that the obvious gets forgotten and the miraculous gets taken for granted. The mere fact that there exists a Jewish army begs for a little perspective. Happily, the younger generation, those born from the eighties onward, never really witnessed Jewish persecution in their lifetimes. Other than incidents of anti-Semitism, there has not been a known location where it is forbidden for Jews to practice their religion. This was not always the case. Certainly from the destruction of the second Temple until the founding of the State of Israel, the Jewish Nation has not had a formal organized army available to protect its citizens. There were a few rebellions and uprisings where Jews heroically tried to defend themselves and improve their situation. But until 1948, there was no ongoing Jewish army. One of the better known songs sung at the Passover Seder is “Ve’hee She-Amda”, where we acknowledge that in every generation there are those who wish to destroy us, but it is G-d who saves us from the hands of our enemies. It seems to me that there is a difference between “surviving” and being able to live with dignity and self respect. All of the years spent in the Exile, were much more of a “surviving” mode rather than living in dignity, other than certain brief periods where Jews felt welcome and lived in comfort. The Exile has been long and bitter where Jews suffered every indignity imaginable, from pogroms to crusades to the Holocaust. Because we were guests in these foreign lands, a Jewish army was not something to be conceived of. I have an 80-year-old student who is a survivor of the Holocaust. On numerous occasions, he proudly shows me pictures of his grandsons serving in elite units in the IDF. This fine gentleman gets emotional when he says, “This is my answer to Hitler and the Nazis!” A Jewish army after nearly 2,000 years of Jewish suffering, should give any normal Jew an intense feeling of pride. When that army grows in sophistication and skill and becomes the envy of the world, it is all the more remarkable. When Israeli fighter jets fly overhead with Jewish stars on their wings, if one is not moved with a similar sense of pride, he simply does not understand Jewish history. A former student once hinted to me that he was working in Israel’s Secret Service. He obviously could not tell me what his specific assignments were. But what he did tell me was that having the IDF makes Jews safer in all parts of the world. The image of the Jew has changed from being easy to pick on, to “don’t mess with the Jews”. When we take the Torah out of the ark, we sing a passage from the Book of Numbers where Moses also sang when the ark in the desert was in motion. “Arise O’ G-d and may Your enemies be scattered from before you.” Rashi asks, who are the enemies of G-d? He answers by saying that anyone who hates a Jew, hates G-d. It is as if the anti-Semite is saying, “Jew, you are nothing and your G-d is nothing.” Having a strong Jewish army is a sanctification of the name of G-d. Such vicious statements will not be made for fear of the mighty hand of G-d’s army. When the Jewish people are strong, G-d is perceived as strong. This is the new Jew of the State of Israel who will no longer tolerate any mistreatment of any Jew. Being part of the Army of G-d has a double meaning. On the one hand, when one comes of age, he takes on his obligations as being part of the Jewish people. But on the other hand, the Army of G-d is the IDF that brings honor, dignity, and pride to our people. Never again will Jews or the Jewish G-d ever have to suffer humiliation and shame. If someone is unable to see this, he does not understand the basic lessons of Jewish history.

The Assimilated Orthodox Jew

There is a general feeling of pride for many Jews when it becomes known that a famous celebrity announces that he is an Orthodox Jew. In recent years, it has become fairly common to hear of an actor or politician who proudly announces that he or she is a Shabbat observer and an Orthodox Jew. Even John Goodman in ” The Big Lebowski” tried to convince Jeff Bridges that he was “Shomer Shabbos” only to be reminded that he wasn’t Jewish. The Kippa is seen in all sorts of places and it looks as though it is acceptable to be an Orthodox Jew in today’s modern world. (At least in the United States.) The apparent definition of Orthodoxy seems to be determined by observing the Shabbat laws as well as keeping a kosher home, strictly observing Judaism’s dietary laws. It is also a kind of declaration that one is religious and his lifestyle is dictated by Jewish tradition and especially Jewish law. It appears that this acceptance of Orthodox Jews, carries with it a heavy price. On the one hand, it represents a very specific affiliation with certain types of synagogues and schools. But on the other hand, it does not fully demand that one carefully examines what is expected of one who claims to be religious. It is even possible for someone to declare his willingness to be counted among those committed to Judaism on the highest level, and yet that individual can still be an assimilated Jew. What really counts is not the observance of certain Jewish rituals, but in thinking like a Jew at all times, and putting one’s Judaism as his number one priority in life. There are several ways to examine if one is truly proud of his Jewishness and religion, or is he an assimilated Orthodox Jew. The first test involves one’s commitment to Israel. If one’s Judaism involves a minimal interest in Israel and it is seen only as a place where some Jews live, it is problematic. If one doesn’t comprehend a basic idea that G-d redeemed the Jews from Egypt to take them to the Promised Land. And that Promised Land is Israel and not America, he has a problem. And if he doesn’t understand that the fate of Israel has a direct effect on every Jew, he has a problem. That problem is that he has stopped thinking like a Jew. Another test of one’s religiosity, is politics. In any election on any level, the only criteria as to how one votes is whether or not it is good for the Jews. When one worries about anyone else before he worries about his own people, he has become an assimilated Jew. Sadly, there are many Orthodox Jews who will take the side of the Palestinians, rather than the moral and brave soldiers of the IDF, because they have become assimilated. Another test of faith and observance, is the attitude towards the Torah and Jewish law. If one does not see the Torah as eternal and applicable to all generations, he is only a practitioner of Jewish folklore. He is not religious. To be religious means, in the words of the “Tanya”, that G-d and the Torah are one. The fulfillment of Jewish law, or Halacha, is the method in which we fulfill G-d’s will in this world. Taking the Halacha lightly, is another sign of being an assimilated Orthodox Jew. The Chazon Ish, Rabbi Avraham Yeshayahu Karelitz, one of the most esteemed rabbis of the twentieth century, (who also convinced Ben Gurion to give an army exemption to religious women) was once asked what he had against the Modern Orthodox Jews, then known as Mizrachi. His reply was that it was difficult for him to take seriously a Jew that called himself religious but did not care about abiding by Jewish law. Without this commitment, one is capable of adopting all kinds of viewpoints that are foreign to Judaism. For many assimilated Orthodox Jews, being identified as a religious Jew, allows them access to a community that is more like a support group or a club, rather than a place where people grow spiritually. The families get together and socialize and give their comfortable lifestyles legitimacy. They are there for one another in times of need, and it gives a sense of security to know that people are looking out for one another. This is not exclusive to Orthodoxy as other branches of Judaism offer similar support. In the end, it is an affiliation that does not necessarily mean that one will be truly Jewish. This is a subject that needs to be brought into the open and examined carefully. It is important that we not delude ourselves into thinking that the magic words, “Orthodoxy”, “Shabbat or Kashrut observer” makes that individual truly Jewish. There is a plague out there called, “assimilation” and it is decimating hundreds of thousands of our people. We must fight it by shouting out loud that we are real committed Jews, who are willing to do everything possible to keep our people strong at any price. Nothing takes priority over this commitment.

The Incredible Story of Benson Mandela

The yearning to convert and join the Jewish nation, is always a fascinating topic. But no story is more amazing than that of Benson Kakai Mandela, whose journey began in a small village outside of Nairobi, Kenya, thirty four years ago. Benson was part of an African tribe. He lived in a hut made of cow dung and first saw electricity and running water at the age of fourteen when he began studying in a modern high school in Nairobi. The ritual of this particular tribe was to acknowledge manhood at the age of thirteen with a ceremony of circumcision witnessed by the tribe. There was no anesthetic and if the young man showed any sign of fear, he was not really a man. The trauma of such a ritual stays with a person for a long time. In high school, Mandela was a good student and was taught discipline in a very strict manner. Once in ninth grade, as a punishment for coming late to class, Benson was given painful lashes. He was never late again during his four years of high school. The students in the Nairobi school were presented with Born Again Christianity as the only religious option. Benson connected much more to martial arts than to the religion he was asked to accept. He excelled in martial arts and became a third degree Black Belt. After receiving a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology and Communications, Benson was trained as a private investigator and specialized as a homicide detective. He worked in the British security establishment and was even asked to go to South Africa where he successfully helped solve a murder case. Mandela is unable to explain his fascination with Israel but for some reason, he kept an Israeli flag on his desk as far back as 2007. In 2009, he was invited to Haifa to study Krav Maga, the Israeli method of self defense. This is where the love affair with the Jewish people really began. Benson made several trips to Israel between 2009 and 2011. He found the Israeli people to be most welcoming. He experienced Shabbat on many occasions and was impressed by both the sanctity of the day and the great honor and respect given to the Jewish woman in her home. In 2011, Benson Mandela was offered a full scholarship at IDC in Herzlia. There he received a Master’s degree in counter terrorism and homeland security. Benson was home and his excellent study of the bible had now come to life. Benson related to many biblical characters but none more than King David. He saw David’s struggles and wanderings and the need to overcome so much adversity. But he also saw David as a great scholar and a great warrior. This is what Benson hoped to become Today Mandela is almost there in his quest to become Jewish. He is deeply respected and looked up to by his peers. He is well groomed and a gentleman. He has said on numerous occasions that it would be his greatest honor to defend the Jewish people in any way that he could. Benson has sacrificed a great deal in deciding to settle. He had a promising and lucrative profession. He was even a friend of the Obama Family living in Kenya. He realized that he must go with his heart and religious convictions. Being in the presence of Benson Kakai Mandela is most humbling. How is it that a young man can come from so far away and absolutely show an unflinching commitment to Judaism and its teachings. In his mind, it is a given that one must be prepared to risk his life protecting the honor and security of the Jewish people. Benson himself finds his story difficult to understand. He now needs to figure out not only why this has happened to him but how his story and personal example will raise awareness among our people. If his ability to inspire has already touched so many who have had the privilege to know him, he must continue to reach out to all who will listen. It is a precious gift to be Jewish and to fulfill the Jewish dream of living in Israel. Sometimes we need a Benson Kakai Mandela and his incredible story, to let us know just how fortunate we are.

But It Feels So Right

Purim is a feel good holiday. We are meant to let down our guards and just have a really good time. The costumes are meant to add to the joy of the day. There is even a song where we wish every day could be Purim! In today’s world, many people take this song literally and their lives are all about feeling good all of the time. This attitude becomes a philosophy of, “If it feels good, it must be right.” It also becomes a justification for all kinds of bad behavior. An extreme case in point involved a couple having serious marital problems. The husband suspected and confronted his wife about his suspicions of her unfaithfulness. I was consulted after her confession to see if anything could be done to salvage the marriage. I spoke strongly to the woman and told her that this union with her lover can never become holy. She must disconnect from him completely as her husband was willing to forgive her. She said she could not because he made her feel so happy. The marriage ended in divorce and her children wanted nothing to do with her. Over and over again, we hear of situations where families tolerate questionable behavior with the rationalization, “But they are so happy. It makes us feel good to see them in such a good state.” This is the justification for same sex relationships as well as intermarriage. This attitude allows for justification of other choices that may be borderline in terms of their being morally right. This yardstick in measuring one’s life decisions is leading to an overall breakdown of values and morality in society. Without a clearly defined system of right and wrong, people will not learn limits. Instead of teaching children what should or should not be done, they are being taught to “go with their feelings”. Perhaps many deviant lifestyles would not even be tried, if children were told from the start, that such an experiment would be wrong to even try. The real issue to be examined is whether or not the world is a better place by adopting this “feel good” approach. Does it solidify the sanctity of marriage or does it encourage a spouse to leave the relationship the minute things stop feeling good? Maybe this creates less incentive to try to make the marriage work. This philosophy can also be the justification for premarital sex, drugs, or alcohol. People want to feel good without having to work too hard. They become selfish and egotistical and no longer get satisfaction from giving of themselves to lighten someone else’s burden. The emphasis today should be on explaining that the sense of gratification of doing the right thing and disciplining oneself, is far greater than trying to just feel good. Ultimately, this is what separates a human being from an animal. The animal has drives and instincts, and acts as they dictate. The human is supposed to use his intellect and reason things out. He should have the foresight to see the consequences of his actions. Feeling right about something is only a quick fix and that good feeling doesn’t last. Having real values and long term goals, will elevate a person to contribute positively for the good of society. The Purim story and the ultimate defeat of Haman, came when the people repented and returned to that which was sacred, rather than “feeling good”at some royal feast. Happy Purim!

Mordechai - The Defiant Jew

The Purim story has many subplots and messages. One of the important aspects of our hero, Mordechai, is often overlooked. His message is to teach the Jew the importance of defiance and being able to stand up for one’s Jewishness with pride and without fear. In 1974, I took a political science course on the Middle East crisis. It was taught by a vicious Jew hater. For some strange reason, the class consisted of half Jews and half African Americans with one exchange student from Germany. The professor succeeded in removing the guilt of the Holocaust from the young woman from Germany. He made ridiculous comparisons between the slavery of the American Blacks during the Civil War, and the Jews in Egypt. At every opportunity, the good professor demonstrated a disdain for the Jew and undermined Israel’s right to exist. I was the only Jew who wore a kippa and I was the only student that challenged the professor every time that I thought he was inaccurately presenting the facts. I wrote him a letter demanding that I be given an “A” for having to listen to his poison and falsehoods over a fifteen-week semester. The Jewish students repeatedly warned me to keep a low profile and if I kept up my opposition to the professor, he would certainly fail me. I was given a “B” for the course and the title of the course was changed to, “The Arab View of the Mid-East Conflict. Hopefully, I acted properly in the way I conducted myself. And I hope that I acted in the manner taught by Mordechai in the Megillah. Mordechai was warned by his peers that he was going to make things worse by refusing to obey Haman’s decrees. Mordechai was not afraid and showed his defiance. Even when it was proven that he did act in the right way and he became the viceroy to the king, he was still met with disapproval by other Jews. They insisted that the best policy was to keep a low profile and not make waves In our dealings with non-Jews. If we put our heads in the sand, our problems will disappear. This is alluded to in the last verse of the Megillah. Mordechai was considered great among “most” of his brethren. The Talmud emphasizes that it specifically said most and not all, because there were still those who felt Mordechai did not act as he should have. Today, we are still plagued by frightened Jews who refuse to remove the mentality of the Exile. They do not know how to proudly announce their pride in being part of the seed of Abraham. They meekly submit to the attacks against our people. Their biggest fear is what will the Gentile say. They do not want to look bad in their eyes. Mordechai taught us not to be afraid in the face of the Hamans of the world. When we are true to our beliefs, refusing to budge despite the pressures upon us, G-d will step in and bring about our salvation. We must be defiant like Mordechai and not lose our faith in all that we hold dear. If we can do this, we will feel a sense of satisfaction that we held true to our ideals. We will be strengthened with the knowledge that we are fully committed to our people, our G-d, and our Land. The grade we will receive in Heaven will be an “A plus”!

A Lesson for in-Laws

To paraphrase a line from the movie, “Parenthood”, “You need a license to fish. You need a license to drive a car. But anyone can be an in-law without a license!” A successful marriage takes a great deal of work and there are numerous obstacles towards achieving this goal. The question to be asked is what role should the in-laws play to help the situation rather than do damage. A prominent rabbi from an illustrious rabbinic family recently said that there is no question that there are situations where a couple would do well if not for the in-laws. And it is clearly the in-laws that are the primary cause for breaking up many marriages. In such a case, if the children see the interference and meddling as a serious problem, they are clearly within their Halachic rights to sever ties with their parents in order to save their marriage. This scenario is extreme, but, unfortunately, happens far too often. What could be done to try to make this relationship more peaceful and allow all parties to get along? If we look to our Holy Scriptures and sages for direction, we will find very useful advice. There are three sources that if studied diligently and remembered by both married children and their parents, this delicate relationship has to improve. The first source is from the Book of Proverbs where King Solomon advises, “Rebuke a wise man and gain a friend. Rebuke a fool and you’ve gained an enemy.” The message here is that one needs to think carefully before speaking and giving advice. He should be smart enough to understand where his words will be received and where they will be resented. The second source is a rabbinic statement that says that in a situation where a son is called by his wife and mother and is needed to fulfill a task, the son must take care of his wife’s needs before his mother’s. If this is made clear from the outset that this is what Jewish tradition demands, maybe, just maybe, the son’s mother will desire to follow the suggestions of our sacred sages. The third source is more Halachic in nature related to the laws of honoring one’s parents. The law clearly states a married woman is exempt from honoring parents since she has so many responsibilities to her husband and family. Only if she is widowed, G-d forbid, or divorced, is she obligated to care for her parents in the same way as her brothers and any other unmarried sisters. If her care for her parents is not at the expense of her children and husband, only then is she able to give attention to her parents. We must not brush off these sources as being archaic or unrealistic. We must never minimize the wisdom of our sages and have the faith that following their words has done well for us over the generations. Obviously, in a situation of poor health, all family members must do everything possible to help. We are speaking of a situation when all are healthy and everyone is in their normal routines. There are three definite lessons to be learned based on these sources, The first is that the beloved in-laws should think very carefully before giving their opinion and offering criticism. Most people don’t enjoy getting criticism, and it is particularly difficult in this sensitive in-law relationship. If one has to be careful in choosing his words in more comfortable relationships, how much more in this relationship? The second lesson is that if the in-laws give financial assistance to their children, it must be without strings attached. The money is not a permit to dictate and control. The in-laws should help because they want to help. It must not come with any motive or entitlement. This attitude will only put added pressure on the marriage of their children. The final lesson that in-laws need to learn is that their children need their space. The in-laws should not feel slighted if their children want to spend weekends alone or go on a vacation alone. It does not mean that they don’t love their parents. They need to have the opportunity to nurture their own relationship. No relationship runs on inertia. If a couple doesn’t have the chance to communicate with one another and share quality time, they will grow apart. Receiving doses of Jewish guilt for not spending more time with the in-laws, will only make things worse. Somehow this is a subject that is not discussed very openly. In my capacity as rabbi, when I counsel newlywed couples, I urge them to lay down ground rules with both sets of in-laws that are to be followed and respected. It might be unpleasant at the outset, but it will pave the way for a harmonious, loving, long term relationship. Keeping in mind the teachings mentioned above, will help the in-laws change their perspective on what their expectations ought to be. With a little common sense and a sincere desire to make things better for their children, the lack of an “in-laws license” will not be an obstacle to bringing joy and happiness to the children and their parents alike.

The Ingredients for a Happy Marriage

The statistics today on the rate of divorce are staggering. But instead of trying to explain why this is so, let us try to give some advice as to how to prevent the termination of a marriage. I will attempt to share the advice that I have been giving couples for many years that seems to be helpful in maintaining a strong healthy relationship. Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twersky, who is both a rabbi and psychiatrist believes that a prerequisite to this sacred union is common goals shared by both partners. This will give couples the endurance to help one another through the difficult periods they might be faced with. If the relationship is simply based on each partner having something that the other partner needs, when that something is no longer there, the marriage will fall apart. However, if the cement is shared goals, they will overcome and manage to stay together. Once the common goals are established, there are three other points that need to be emphasized from the outset. The couple needs to clarify their religious position before the marriage. There should be a great deal of discussion and understanding that they are on the same page in terms of religious observance. If one partner is more extreme than the other, it will create problems later. A second prerequisite is the absolute determination to do everything possible to make this marriage work. Once the decision is made to marry, there is no more turning back and regretting the one that got away. This may be the most valuable bit of marriage advice of all. Years ago, an American student of mine married an Ethiopian girl and was given this advice. Four years later I bumped into this student who thanked me for “the best advice ever”. It carried him through the adjustment period of getting used to someone of a totally different culture. And the third prerequisite is to learn to change attitudes regarding intimacy. If a young couple follows the laws of Family Purity meticulously with no physical contact until after Mikva (ritual bath) immersion, their union is blessed by G-d and is holy. This change of attitude is essential so that the woman not feel like an object. It also allows the couple other ways to express their affection for one another. If the marriage is entered into with this knowledge, the couple is starting their lives together on the right foot. They are, in essence, making a declaration of their desire to make this union special. They will be able to start with communication and determination, and they will allow holiness to enter their home. Once married, there are numerous tips for keeping the relationship strong. Every couple can use some help and guidance regardless of the number of years they are married. A couple should believe that things can continue to get better if the desire is there. Having a mutually acceptable mentor to go to when there are disagreements, can prove invaluable. This is far superior to where one spouse tries to force his will on the other spouse. If they agree to take advice from this mentor, rather than quarrel, it will avoid a great deal of grief. Another important point is the subject of anger. It is pointless and futile to ever try to reason with someone when they are visibly upset. Anything said at this point, will be counterproductive. The best thing to do is remain silent rather than respond, even if an insult was given or any other inappropriate speech. Wait for a few days when both sides are calm and there is a much better chance that things can be resolved amicably. An apology for bad behavior is much more likely to come in this scenario. Criticism can be very damaging to a relationship. If one spouse speaks in a degrading and insulting tone, it cannot possibly bring positive results. In Chassidic teachings, there is a term called, “VATRANUT”, which means learning how to give in and compromise for the sake of peace. VATRANUT would apply when a spouse learns to give his partner the benefit of the doubt. VATRANUT also implies that one has faith in his spouse that they will come around and realize on their own that they haven’t been being nice. NEVER should one spouse raise his voice in disapproval of the other spouse. This, too, is VATRANUT. Still another important piece of advice is that couples should try and designate a few hours a week that they spend alone together. Whether it’s going out for a walk or having a bite to eat, this special time tells each spouse that they are important to one another. It gives them a chance to talk and communicate with one another. A breakdown in communication is what creates distance between a couple. The final piece of advice comes from John Grey and his book, Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Men and women have different needs. A woman feels secure in a relationship when she feels that her feelings matter. She will feel this way when her husband learns to put her first and really tries to be in touch with her feelings. The husband needs validation and appreciation for his efforts in the marriage. John Grey simply says that men want solutions and women want understanding. Ninety per cent of the arguments that I have tried to settle all come down to this point. Obviously, in one article not all of the marital problems will be solved. However, it would do everyone good to take this advice to heart. It makes no difference how long one is married. These points are tested and are primarily based on the teachings of our sages. And who wouldn’t want to improve his relationship and strengthen his bond in the holy institution of marriage!

Progress and Accountability

The reign of King Solomon is considered by many to be the most glorious period in all of Jewish history. These were the “Camelot” years where there was peace and prosperity in the land. Israel was the envy of the world and its king was admired by all for his great wisdom and leadership. He was a benevolent king but did not tolerate any civil disobedience. He made it clear to the nation that if they observe the laws, they would succeed and would receive G-d’s abundant blessings. If they failed to abide by the rules, all of the blessings would fade. Tragically, it was Solomon’s own failings that led to the end of his kingdom. Today, we have returned to live in our beloved Land of Israel, but we do not have the security and peace that we so desire. Many believe that a solution to our current situation is to try to create an opportunity for the poor Palestinians living in difficult conditions, and give them economic opportunities. If they were able to have some hope for a better life, they would abandon terrorism and the world would be a better place. This view is also held in the United States as a solution to help those living in the ghettos. If they had a real chance of succeeding, their hopelessness would not lead to violence and crime. The assumption to this view is that since we live in a modern sophisticated world, people will make the right choices in how they will live their new lives of hope and opportunity. One of the main problems of this approach, is that it minimizes accountability and assumes that man is inherently good. Any society that does not have rules for determining right and wrong, and is unable to enforce those rules, will ultimately fail. Dennis Prager said it best in a recent article; “Material poverty does not cause murder, rape, or terror. Moral poverty does.” It appears that this solution for fixing the world’s problems, was already tried and it failed miserably. Let’s look at the middle class of the United States of America as an example. In the second half of the twentieth century, Americans were given the ability to educate themselves, create their own businesses, and progressively enjoy more and more affluence. Each generation lived on a higher and higher standard. At first, wealth was measured by owning two cars. Then it was measured by two homes, and then fancier vacations, to the point where the opulence knew no bounds. But what happened to moral values when people took advantage of what America had to offer? As people had more leisure time and more money, they became more and more self indulgent. There has been a breakdown of families with soaring divorce rates, innumerable cases of infidelity, and a crumbling of moral values. Man had the freedom to choose and most of the choices led to drug and alcohol abuse. Free speech has glorified pornography and free expression of any idea where there is nothing sacred. Movies and television leave nothing to the imagination. Has all of this openness led to safer cities and more happiness? This is the problem when people are lacking in values. The value system that is taught today is either one of, “if it feels good, it must be right.” Or, “anything is allowed as long as you don’t get caught.” This is what happens when there is no accountability. People make bad choices where they sink to lower and lower levels. Admittedly, there are a handful of Noahs out there, who somehow have a built in system of right and wrong. They weather the flood of immorality, but most people when not held accountable for their actions, fail and fall. Rabbeinu Tam, a twelfth century Torah scholar, wrote in his book, Sefer Hayashar, that man has to overcome his tendency towards lust. He lists nine types of lust that one needs to be aware of, so as not to succumb to their lure. There are lusts for food, drink, women, wealth, domination, one’s conduct in business, how one dresses, his mode of transportation, and a lust to pamper one’s body. Human nature has not changed even with all of our sophistication and technological advances. The invention of the internet is a case in point. The wealth of knowledge at our fingertips, gives no excuse for ignorance. Yet, there are choices that one needs to make as to how to use the internet. Many marriages have been destroyed because of pornography addiction, not to mention how children at a young age are also exposed to the negative side of the internet. It is said that even when the printing press was discovered in the fifteenth century, the first two items printed, were the bible and pornography. Our sophistication and advancements do not turn us into better people. Accountability and setting definite definitions of right and wrong is what builds a person. It appears that the Land of Opportunity, known as America, has not become the Land of Morality. If we take a step back and look at the world situation from the standpoint of where does one get guidance as to how to live his life in a meaningful way, it is not out there. We must face the facts that all of the permissiveness in today’s society, is not turning people into righteous individuals. On the contrary, people are sinking to the low level where their lusts and desires must be satisfied immediately. In short, whatever has been tried in the last half century is not working. And on this backdrop, are we so naive to believe that economic opportunity and education is going to fix everything? Where will proper behavior be learned? Sadly, a view that is widely held by many of the enlightened generation, is a mocking of religious people who hold strong to their beliefs. They are ridiculed as people who are primitive and are unable to think for themselves and they have to lean on their spiritual leaders for guidance. When all is said and done, we need to accept that there is no system in the world that comes close to the ethical teachings of Judaism. Maybe we ought to dust off the Torah that so many have rejected and give the Judaism that has taught the world right and wrong another chance. The closeness to G-d and the strict adherence to the commandments, was the secret of the success of King Solomon’s reign. The next time we go to pray and we sing the song when the Torah is returned to the ark, “Renew our days as of old,” we are to long for a return to our former glory. Our rabbis tell us that this prayer is referring specifically to King Solomon and his reign. Sophistication and progress is not what leads to a happy, meaningful life. Accountability and good old Jewish values is what will lead us to the peace and security that we so desire.

Assimilation, Expulsion, Extermination

It is a very natural mistake for the Jewish people to be lax in learning the important messages of Jewish history. There is a well known quote that those who do not learn from the past are destined to repeat it. If we add the teachings of our Torah and sages, we come out with a clear historic lesson. Every country in the history of the Jewish people, where Jews lived, was always terminated. We were meant to see ourselves as guests in any respective place of dwelling. Our “visit” ended with either assimilation, expulsion, or extermination. For Jews, 1492 is remembered as the year when the “Golden Age of Spain” ended when Jews were expelled by King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella. Christopher Columbus wrote in his diary that his expedition to conquer America came one month after the Jews were expelled from all of the territories of King Ferdinand’s kingdom. This was the most famous expulsion, but there were others. Many Jews were murdered by pogroms and crusades, but nothing compared with the extermination of six million Jews in World War Two. Jews were comfortable in Germany and many achieved high positions and great prestige. However, their welcome period ended and they were clearly unwanted guests. In modern times, we are being devastated with the plague of assimilation and intermarriage. Assimilation takes place when Jews stop thinking like Jews and their attitudes and behaviors are borrowed from the respective societies in which they live. Intermarriage always follows assimilation as there is no longer an identification with Judaism and Jewish values. It makes no sense to be limited to a Jewish spouse and one will look for a partner who shares his outlook on life. Back in the seventies, I remember hearing of the first relative that I knew of, that had a non-Jewish partner. I went to my elderly, wise rabbi for consolation. He told me that the description of the tenth plague in Egypt, the killing of the first born, ended with the words, “There was no home that did not suffer a death.” The rabbi went on to say that the verse was referring to our times when virtually every family has been smitten with the plague of intermarriage. Admittedly, this is a very unpleasant subject that most would prefer to sweep under the carpet and not face up to. There was a time when families would sit Shiva for a family member that married out, but today this phenomenon is so rampant that Jews do what they do so well. They rationalize and swallow the bitter pill. They choose to reluctantly accept the intermarriage because they love their children and are not willing to cut them off. I am not judging anyone nor do I blame anyone for their behavior. However, in terms of what this means for the future of the Jewish people, it is a huge tragedy. It is also understandable why there is so much intermarriage. Jewish men seem to be more kind and sensitive than the more coarse Gentile men. This draws the Gentile women as they would like to be treated with respect and dignity. The Jewish men find the Gentile women to be less demanding and more eager to please than the Jewish women. They would rather have more peace of mind, so they opt for the Gentile over the Jew. Understandable it is, but it does not minimize the fact that a majority of their offspring are lost to the Jewish people forever. Now that we’ve had the courage to state the problem, what is the solution? Firstly, it begins with the home and the example that the parents set. If the parents do not show that Judaism is important to them, and their children do not see a real commitment towards Jewish practices, why should they choose a Jewish spouse? If the parents don’t really care about Judaism, why should they? Secondly, there must be a serious investment in Jewish education. From a young age, children need to be taught how special it is to be Jewish. Families should make regular trips to Israel to see first hand where many biblical events occurred. They should choose educators for their children who inspire. Their childhood memories should be filled with Jewish heroism from David slaying Goliath to the modern day heroes of the Israel Defense Force. They need to know about the potential of achieving holiness that only Judaism can offer. And throughout the ages, we have been led by sages that have shown remarkable levels of sanctity in their serving our Creator. Lastly, the real solution at combatting assimilation and intermarriage is to live in Israel. The intermarriage rate in Israel is minimal. But much more than that, Israel is the only place that our prophets have promised us that once we return, we will never leave again. In every other country, there will be an end to Jewish existence either by expulsion, extermination, or assimilation. There is still time to come home when we can hold our heads high. Not only will we guarantee our own survival and that of our children, but we will doing the greatest thing possible to strengthen the people and Land that we love so dearly.

Divine Wisdom

There is a story brought in the book, Kuzari, by Rabbi Yehuda Halevi, where he describes a meeting between the great Greek philosopher, Plato, and the Prophet Jeremiah. The story alleges that Plato made the journey to Jerusalem to meet the great Jewish leader. While some may question if Plato and Jeremiah actually lived at the same time, the message of the story is clear. Plato finds Jeremiah weeping over the ruins of the First Temple and asks Jeremiah two questions. He first asks why he weeps over a building of wood and stones and further asks why he weeps over something that cannot be changed. As is typical of all Jews, Jeremiah asks Plato if there were any philosophical questions that even he was unable to answer. He answered a question with a question. Plato begins asking Jeremiah about several issues that had been bothering him, and Jeremiah answered each of Plato questions effortlessly as if they were asked by a small child. Jeremiah then explained why he wept. He told the Greek scholar that there was a certain Divine wisdom that came from Heaven through the Temple Menorah and it gave Jews like him a wisdom that was reserved for Jewish scholars. This was the reason why he was so sad. And this building that was destroyed, would once again be rebuilt. There are several commentaries on the Torah that speak of the requirement to be a judge in Israel. Two classic works, the Minchat Chinuch and the Alschich Hakadosh explain that one who does not possess this Divine wisdom must not judge. It may be that he is a fine person of the highest character, but in terms of being able to properly analyze a specific case, without this wisdom, he is likely to error in his decision. If one has met a true Torah scholar who has spent numerous years steeped in his studies, he is likely to understand what it takes to be a good candidate to judge. He is able to connect not only to G-d, but to other great rabbis of the past and gain an understanding of that which is right in the eyes of G-d. This is the essence as to why many religious Jews are not satisfied with the Israeli judicial system. It is based on the value system of specific judges that often does not coincide with Torah principles. The crux of the problem stems from the fact that different people have different value systems. It is based on relative truths. This means that what is true for one person may not be true for another. A case in point would be how we handle terrorists that use children as human shields. The value system held by many is that it’s unfortunate that this is done, but how can we hurt a child. There is no doubt that legitimate Torah scholars would disagree with this and would contend that protecting our own people comes first even if it means harming the human shield. There is a certain value system of our modern, sophisticated world. It often does not coincide with real Torah values. It should be noted that this value system of justice is not succeeding as the morality of the world continues to decline.Perhaps we can learn a lesson from that encounter between Plato and Jeremiah. If we were to seriously study the Book that was meant to teach true morality to the world, we are likely to raise the level of consciousness of what is right and wrong. And in the process, if we set different criteria as to what it takes to be a judge, we might see real justice. It’s right there for us to delve into; the intense wisdom of the Sages and G-d Himself. Why shouldn’t we go back and fulfill the role we accepted at Mount Sinai, to be a “light unto the nations” of truth and justice and teach the world all that is good and proper in the eyes of G-d.

What Is Erev Rav

The term Erev Rav is misunderstood and requires explanation. Literally, Erev Rav refers to the “mixed multitude” mentioned in the Torah that left Egypt with the rest of the Jewish people. They were defined as insincere Egyptian converts and all of the sinful incidents that occurred in the desert from the sin of the Golden Calf to all of the complaining about lack of food, water, and meat is attributed to them. The number of the Erev Rav was in the hundreds of thousand according to most commentators. The problem that many have with this term of Erev Rav is that it seems highly unlikely that there could be descendants of the Erev Rav nowadays. After all, there are no actual Amalekites, nor are there remnants of the seven nations that once occupied Israel, alive today. The assumption is that this term is used in a derogatory way describing one who is traitor just as Americans might call someone a “Benedict Arnold.” Upon further investigation, it appears that just as Amalek is a term used to describe evil, and it does not refer to any current physical nation, Erev Rav is not based on genealogy but more on mysticism. Starting with the Talmud in Tractate Hagiga, we begin to get a picture of what Erev Rav really is. The Talmud describes how G-d transplants in every generation the souls of the Erev Rav in numerous individuals. This means that this spiritual pollution exists in each generation. The Zohar, which is one of the primary books of Kabbalah, also mentions emphatically that not only does Erev Rav exist in each generation, but they continue to be the cause for the majority of problems harming the Jewish people. The Ari, Rabbi Isaac Luria, known as a great mystic, was able to detect which of his students were from the Erev Rav. The Vilna Gaon, who lived in the eighteenth century, wrote extensively about the Erev Rav and the evil that they possess. The conclusion to be made is that it isn’t just a name you call someone who has different political views than you. From the sources mentioned, there is real evidence that there are Erev Rav living among us. The real question is whether or not we know who they are, and what are the characteristics of someone who actually is from the Erev Rav. The Zohar says that as long as the Erev Rav exist, the Redemption cannot come. They are not interested in the welfare of Israel. They are more concerned with the nations of the world, than the Jewish nation. The Vilna Gaon wrote that they will likely be rabbis living in the exile. Rav Avraham Yitzchak Kook, the first chief rabbi of Israel, added that such rabbis will even discourage or prevent people from coming to Israel. The Vilna Gaon further describes the Erev Rav as people who are argumentative and egotistical. They run after money and honor and they are dishonest in that what they say is not necessarily how they feel. All of this may sound a bit frightening where one may wonder if perhaps he has some of the characteristics of the Erev Rav. If one has the following character traits, he can rest assured that he is not one of these horrible, dangerous troublemakers. One who is proud to be a Jew and loves the Jewish people and defends the honor of the Jewish people and Jewish State, is not Erev Rav. Similarly, one who accepts the authenticity of the Torah and lives by it in his own humble way, is not Erev Rav. One who views the Israel Defense Force as performing a holy mission in defending the honor of the Jewish people, is not Erev Rav. One who loves the Jewish people, and feels the pain of every Jew as if it were his own family, is not Erev Rav. He appreciates the miracle that is the State of Israel. He is irate when he hears of the activities of BDS. If he is an American citizen in an election, he will only choose the candidate who shows the greatest support for Israel. In short, he is a proud Jew in every way and is not afraid to show it. It may not be productive to assume who we think might qualify as a member of the Erev Rav. It is important to recognize that we are not to shy away from confronting those individuals who do not show their loyalty to the Jewish people. The Ar”i and Rav Kook clearly stated that there is the potential for the Erev Rav to repent. Perhaps if we strengthen ourselves, and show them the fallacy of their ways, their influence will be weakened and the obstacle to our redemption, will be removed.

Hotheads...Lose

In the early eighties, I was asked to debate a journalist on the subject of Israel’s rights to Judea and Samaria. I took the position that Israel has every reason to maintain these territories, while the other gentleman felt the reverse. After the debate, a mutual friend asked each of us separately how we thought the debate went. My reply was, “He’s a nice guy, but his views are dangerous.” When my debating partner was asked the same question, he gave the identical response, “He’s a nice guy, but his views are dangerous!” Now that many years have passed, I realize that so much is lost when people are unable or unwilling to express their views in a dignified, respectful manner. Nobody likes “hotheads” except other hotheads who share their views. If someone wishes to convince the other person of the validity of his position, he will inevitably fail if it is given over with name calling, screaming , and ranting and raving. The recipient of such expressions will probably feel that he’s not dealing with a rational person on the other side. All credibility will be lost even though he may have otherwise made some very valid points. Judaism is filled with teachings that emphasize the power of words and how to use them. Great rabbis of medieval times such as Maimonides and Nachmonides, speak of “DIBUR B’NACHAT”, or speaking in a gentle calm voice as the key to mastering not only acceptance by one’s peers, but also as the device to conquer such negative personality traits as anger and arrogance. Over and over again, we are taught that the wise man is the one who chooses his words carefully and values silence in place of speaking foolishly. A simple lesson in interpersonal relationships is the need for communication. In every relationship, we need to learn how to be good listeners as well as learning when giving our opinion will be beneficial. In marriage we are taught that a happy marriage is one where there is good communication. But we are also taught that there is a time for such communication. If either spouse is upset with the other, communication must wait until both spouses are calm and relaxed and ready to work things out. In Israel, there is a horrible lack of communication between the religious and the secular, the right and the left, and even within religious circles, between the national religious and the ultraOrthodox. When the lines of communication are down, people make assumptions about the other side that are usually negative. This is quite a tragedy when we are one nation fighting the same enemy with the same struggle for survival. If there isn’t a real effort to learn how to relate to one another in a respectful manner, we will not be able to create understanding and acceptance. The hotheads of the various groups should be the first to realize that they don’t have a chance at having their positions understood, unless they learn to change their approach. The rest of us must never forget we are a small Jewish nation in the face of some very hostile enemies wishing to destroy us. We are really one family that needs to get along. There is incredible power in Jewish unity. Upon reflection of that debate that took place long ago, both sides were the winners. Even though we strongly disagreed with one another, we parted as friends. After all, we Jews are family!

The Magic Of The Kotel Bar Mitzvah

Every Monday and Thursday morning throughout the year, young men of all religious affiliations, come to the Western Wall to celebrate their Bar Mitzva. It is a celebration because it marks a kind of “coming of age” where young men of 13 get counted as adults and accept the responsibilities of mature, committed Jews. It is a happy occasion for all of the Jewish people as we continue to survive as a people with another generation carrying on our traditions. The experience at the Kotel, also known as the Wailing Wall, has its own share of magic. Families join together from all parts of the world to watch their little boy suddenly turn into a man right before their eyes. Even families that are minimally committed to Judaism and rarely attend their respective synagogues, feel the magic. When the Bar Mitzva boy emerges from the tunnel that houses the numerous Torah scrolls, and he is seen holding one of these Torah scrolls and is accompanied with singing and dancing, the emotions run high. The parents and grandparents are unable to hold back their tears of joy. What exactly is going on to elicit such an emotional response? The combination of being in Jerusalem, Israel’s holiest city, and facing the only remnant of our holy Temple, at the holiest location on earth, certainly contributes to the specialness of the day. But there is something much larger that is taking place at that time. It is a truly pure and spiritual feeling that is being felt. It is an awakening of the Jewish soul. When the Torah speaks about G-d breathing into man a spirit and a soul in the “image of G-d”, it is telling us that man is higher than the animal. The animal does not have the same potential for holiness as man as it does not have this soul. The Jewish people were given a greater potential for holiness because they were given their own unique set of laws that they received on Mount Sinai. Man is finite but the soul is eternal. Just as the body needs its nourishment, the soul longs for spirituality for it to thrive. When people live lives devoid of spirituality and their reason for living is materialism and physical pleasures, their soul is greatly depleted as it is not getting what it needs. However, everyone’s soul “dances” at a Kotel Bar Mitzva. There is so much sacredness and purity and innocence, that its intensity, elicits feelings that the celebrants were not aware that they possessed. What is remarkable is that every family feels it no matter where they come from and how religious they are. There is a lesson to be learned from all of this. There needs to be an awareness on the part of every Jew that he can have similar experiences of this special joy if he will only become aware of the needs of his soul. The Rabbis explain that every Jew has a yearning to connect to the Almighty and cleave to Him and develop a burning love towards the Creator. It is a spiritual need that if nurtured and worked on, ultimately yields an amazing feeling of happiness and contentment with the knowledge that we are protected by G-d’s loving kindness. The magic that so many continue to experience every Monday and Thursday, is proof that if we apply ourselves, we can achieve real spiritual joy and bliss. This connection will allow us to cope with every challenge that comes our way. After all, what could possibly harm us when our souls are dancing!

A Little Perspective

There is a well known expression that when one is standing next to a mountain, it is difficult to see how high it is. There is a human tendency to sometimes be forgetful, unaware, or unwilling to take a serious look at where we are today from the perspective of Jewish history. The developments of this past century are simply astounding. Aside from the tragedy of the Holocaust, it wasn’t that long ago that Jews were persecuted in Russia, Iran, and Syria. There were places where Jews were not only forbidden from practicing their religion, but they were unable to leave their respective countries. Synagogues across the United States all had, “Save Soviet Jewry” signs posted for all to see. Today, Jews can practice their religion everywhere, and those who are smart enough to want to move to Israel, are able to do so. The State of Israel in just sixty-seven years now has a population greater than the number of Jews who perished in the death camps of World War Two. The emergence of Israel into a world power in so short a time, defies logic. In all of human history, never has a country that was banished from its land and stripped of its identity, been able to have a rebirth as we have been witnessing right before our eyes. The State of Israel presents serious theological problems to Christianity and Islam who for centuries were convinced of G-d’s complete rejection of the Jewish people. I recall a story of a friend, now in his seventies, who described how in his youth, if he wanted to get from Tel Aviv to Netanya, he needed to go by way of Kfar Saba, because of the swamps now known as the coastal highway. Today we have modern cities, we are world leaders in high tech, and our military is the envy of the world. We have seen the ingathering of our Jewish brethren from all parts of the world. And all of this in just sixty-seven years? In Israel, our taxi drivers are our great philosophers. On one such lesson, I listened to one such philosopher, give his take on the recent wave of terror that we have been experiencing these last several months. I felt I was getting my money’s worth as the meter did its duty. He began telling me of the hardships that he experienced being a born Israeli, and having to fight in various wars. He went on to say that compared to everything that he had been through, this was nothing. He insisted that he was not afraid and was confident that we would overcome this as we’ve overcome so many other challenges in the past. These were encouraging words from an unexpected place. We are a people that survived two thousand years of exile. We’ve been through pogroms, crusades, expulsion, and every type of persecution imaginable. Yet, we have survived and we have come home. Although the situation is admittedly frightening, and the media does its share in putting more fear in people than is necessary, we continue to gain strength and thrive. It is during times like these that we need to put things into perspective and look at the total miraculous picture that we have been experiencing. It is appropriate to say that the very same G-d that took us out of Egypt with signs and wonders, is doing the very same thing for us today. We only need to step away from the mountain to see how high it really is.

Valuing Human Life

Judaism values human life. The Talmud says that saving even one soul is like saving an entire world. According to Maimonides, included in the Seven Noachide Laws regarding murder, is the prohibition to perform an abortion on an unborn child. Volumes have been written on the subject of euthanasia mainly because of the issue of sanctifying human life. It is our duty to not only save lives whenever possible, but also to prevent endangering the lives of our people. This certainly holds true in a wartime situation as it does on a daily basis. Every loss of life is a human tragedy but our first responsibility is to our families and the extended Jewish nation. The Torah is filled with references to the importance of saving another Jew. The verse that stands out is the commandment to live by the commandments and not die by them. Therefore, in a life and death situation, one may violate certain commandments for the sake of preserving human life. The exception is in situations where G-d’s name will be desecrated. Only then are we supposed to sacrifice our lives rather than violate the Law. To my knowledge, the preservation of democratic principles, or feeling sorry for the enemy, or looking good in the eyes of a biased media, do not fall under the category of sacrificing a Jewish life. It seems that basic Jewish principles need to be reiterated for fear of making dangerous misguided decisions. It is hard to believe that families who have suffered the loss of a loved one, find consolation in knowing that the deceased gave his life trying to avoid hurting civilians. Or, the family is proud that their loved one acted so kindly to the nice Arab who transformed into his barbaric murderer. If we open our eyes, we must accept that there has been a declaration of war against us and in war, we do everything possible to preserve all that we cherish. Specifically, it means cherishing human life. Golda Meir once said, “We can forgive the Arabs for killing our children. We cannot forgive them for forcing us to kill their children. We will only have peace with the Arabs when they love their children more than they hate us.” This quote seems to have more relevance today than when she originally made it. We have been hearing so much about how we must avoid collective punishment. We feel sorry for the “good Arabs” who are humiliated by being searched aggressively or even thrown off planes. But haven’t we suffered enough with stabbings, suicide bombings, and rockets aimed at our metropolitan areas? This is war, and I for one, would rather risk looking bad and protecting all that is dear to me, than trying to live up to standards that are far from Judaism. Traditionally, Judaism welcomes the convert regardless of where he is from. In the time of the Bible, it was made clear that those who embraced the Seven Noachide Laws and accepted Israel’s sovereignty, were welcome and allowed to own property in Israel. The demand of Prime Minister Netanyahu for the Arab population to pledge allegiance to the Jewish State and acknowledge Israel’s right to exist, goes as far back as Joshua. These are amazing times that we live in. With all of our achievements, we must be constantly aware that there are many that wish to destroy us. We must remain loyal to one another and to truly Jewish principles. When the Talmud says that when one comes to slay you, slay him first, this is the credo that we must live by. We must value human life and live!

The Book of Judges and Duma

The Book of Judges, Chapter nineteen, tells the horrific story of the Concubine in Giva, where a band of lawless Benjamanites gang rape a certain Levite’s concubine all night long until she is found dead at the doorstep of the home where she and her husband were staying. Her body is cut into twelve pieces and sent to each of the twelve tribes. The reaction to this incident is found in verse thirty where it is written, “It happened that whoever saw it said, ‘Such a thing has never happened nor been seen since the day the Children of Israel went up from the Land of Egypt to this day! You must contemplate this, take counsel and speak up!” What followed after the refusal of the Tribe of Benjamin to hand over the perpetrators, was a bitter civil war that took the lives of 25,000 from Benjamin and another 40,000 from the rest of the tribes of Israel, 65,000 killed altogether. The story here has somewhat of a similarity to what allegedly transpired in Duma. While I’m not yet convinced that Jews actually committed this terrible crime, if they did, it is a most shameful act. I don’t believe there is a respectable rabbi anywhere who would condone taking the law into one’s hands and killing innocent people. We must be outraged at the thought that Jews could be capable of such an act. It should be taught and reiterated that this is not the Jewish way. This should be viewed as an isolated incident of misguided youth who in some warped way, believed that they are doing something positive. It is hard to believe that they have been incited by their rabbis. If there are such rabbis, we need to distance ourselves from them. Again, all of this is theoretical as no one has been convicted of the crime. What is highly troubling is that the Left is magnifying the problem into something greater than it is. Responsible and respectable religious leaders have come out and condemned such an act as wrong. There seems to be a connection with the biblical concubine story in the way that we are responding to the incident. Such actions do not reflect the Religious Zionist viewpoint nor does it reflect the teachings of the late Rav Meir Kahane, zt’l. The Left, as usual, acts as though it has the monopoly on morality. They are too quick to judge and use this as a springboard to vent their animosity towards the settlers and the religious. This is directly related to showing undo compassion for the real enemies of the Jewish people. They show cruelty to the good moral Jews. When all is said and done, an incident such as Duma helps us to make a reality check. Our beloved State of Israel is still a relatively young country. Its moral character and its overall makeup is a matter of constant debate. Some want a Jewish state and others want it to be like the other nations. Whatever the case may be, may we never again witness such an act of lawlessness that brings shame to all of the Jewish people.

The Relationship Between Mercy and Cruelty

There is a fascinating midrash that gives great insight into tendencies in human behavior. The midrash is from the Book of Ecclesiastes and states the following: All who are merciful where they should be cruel ultimately are cruel where they should be merciful. The reference was to King Saul who showed mercy to King Agag and cruelty to the Priests of Nov. It is essential that people have a realistic perception of reality. If they delude themselves and create their own subjective view on life, then it is likely that at some point someone who should be treated with mercy will inevitably be treated with cruelty. This manifests itself on many levels. The first example of this is in our relationship with family and friends. When we refuse to see the flaws in these people and instead overcompensate and condone bad behavior, we will end up treating someone else very harshly when it is undeserved. We might rationalize by saying that there is so much history in these relationships, but it is unhealthy not to face the truth. Another example would be seen in marriage. When a spouse makes serious loving gestures towards his partner, and these efforts are judged as insincere and having an ulterior motive, distance is created rather than closeness. The same applies in the reverse. When a spouse is treated badly and there is denial of this treatment, this unfair treatment will be expressed somewhere else. Often it is the children who will suffer from this refusal to accept reality. When children act in an inappropriate manner and are in need of discipline and direction, and instead the parents spoil the child, it is cruelty and not mercy. A child needs to be shown right and wrong and when he isn’t, he will feel that his parents really don’t care about him. This idea also manifests itself on a national level. When terrorists act in a most brutal and inhuman manner, and instead of calling this behavior evil and animalistic, we are told that we need to understand their frustration and if they were only given economic opportunities, they would behave better, something is very wrong. Such an injustice of misplaced mercy will manifest itself by having a loathing for those who make tremendous sacrifices to settle this land. There will also be an intolerance for those who choose to live a sacred life dedicated to Jewish values and intense study of the Torah. We see this phenomenon when speaking of Jewish survival. When the Minister of Education wisely refuses to allow Jewish students to read books that glorify intermarriage and assimilation, and he is accused of denying two people the opportunity to express their love for one another, something is off. It is misplaced mercy to feel for the two lovers because such love has cruelly taken away far too many Jews away from their families and heritage. Such a value system of “if it feels good it’s right” leads a formerly respected political science professor to rant in a most vulgar and pathetic way against a political figure that has views different than his own. We must do some serious soul searching and see if we might be guilty of such false perceptions. If we succeed in eliminating injustices, we will be true to ourselves, true to those who are deserving of our love, and true to our people and our country and our heritage. If we fail, we will end up treating our friends with cruelty and our enemies with mercy. There’s far too much at stake to being make such grievous errors.

Hatred: A Wasted Emotion

Many years ago the students of Machon Meir were addressed by a unique couple. They were “Noachides” from the “Bible Belt in the Southeastern part of the United States. They had abandoned Christianity and joined the numerous other Noachides by observing the Seven Noachide Laws as described in the Torah after Noach left the ark after the flood. The address of the couple was meant to tell our students how fortunate they were to be living the special way of life of observant Jews. They said, ” Our job is to be righteous. Your job is to be holy.” In essence, this was an explanation of the special role the Jew was given on Mount Sinai. Jews were given 613 commandments with the goal of creating a “holy nation” and holy Jews. The non-Jews were given seven laws to create righteousness. Hence, the expression, “Righteous Gentiles”. The primary reason that Judaism is not a racist religion is that it accepts converts from all over the world regardless of their race or color. In other words, Jews come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, as do non-Jews. The only difference is which system of laws each accepts. The Jews made a covenant on Mount Sinai to observe the 613 and live a life of holiness and the non-Jew the seven Noachide laws. There is nowhere in the Torah that allows the Jew or encourages the Jew to hate anyone; not a fellow Jew or a Gentile. There is a commandment in Leviticus that prohibits us from hating another Jew in our heart. We are commanded to rebuke our fellow Jew and not harbor ill feelings. This is the same chapter that tells us to “Love our neighbor as ourselves.” There is a reference in Psalms where King David says that he will hate those who hate G-d, but that seems to be more of an expression of David’s passion for the Al-mighty. There are many references to destroying our enemies but it does not say that we are to hate our enemies. If it is necessary to go to battle, the motivation should be love of family and land, and the need to protect it and keep safe that which we hold most dear. In the early eighties, I was privileged to know the late Rabbi Meir Kahane on a personal level. I was one of a few pulpit rabbis who was willing to host him in my synagogue. I was able to get to know the man from up close. He was thoroughly enjoyable to be around as he had a great sense of humor and he was a great Torah scholar. On many occasions, I pleaded with him to change his image as a racist rabbi so that people could see the side of him that I got to know and admire. For some reason that I will never understand, he felt it necessary to keep his image of “macho rabbi.” Despite all of this, Rav Kahane, the so called “racist rabbi”, often said, “I don’t hate Arabs. I love Jews.” Hatred is a wasted emotion. It is counterproductive. It accomplishes nothing to rant about how much one despises certain individuals or peoples. It is against Torah values. If there is an individual who has character traits that are difficult to love, keep a distance from that person. If a nation threatens our survival, destroy them and fight with tenacity. Do not sit around talking about how much you hate. It serves no purpose. The emotion of love, is much more powerful and productive. The classic work, “Orchot Tzaddikim” devotes an entire chapter on the subject of hating. The author writes that people hate for foolish reasons. They hate because they were refused a loan by a friend, or they hate because they felt they received an inferior gift. People of the same occupation tend to hate one another. The worst hatred is hating out of jealousy. However, the chapter continues by saying that if one is shamed, physically hurt, or is strapped with a monetary loss by another individual, he has legitimate reasons to feel animosity towards that person. But even in these situations, he must not allow those feelings to eat away at him. This is remedied by rebuking that individual and making him aware of his misdeed with the hope that he will rectify the situation. This rebuke, according to the Torah will prevent him from violating the prohibition of hating a fellow Jew. Somehow we allow our emotions to get the better of us and we lose sight of the real values that we are meant to possess. Perhaps it would do us well to remind ourselves of that message of that very kind couple from the Bible Belt. Jews are meant to be holy. Non-Jews are meant to be righteous.

Two Deaths - Two Worlds

Last week, two very unique and different individuals passed away. Yossi Sarid, the former head of the Leftist Meretz party died suddenly of a heart attack. He was eulogized as a man of intense principle, honesty, and had a deep love for Israel. Rav Tzvi Klamen was the former head of the English department at Machon Meir in Jerusalem. He was eulogized as a holy man who was also very honest and loved Israel, but was a Torah scholar and a religious, believing Jew. On December 29th 2013, Yossi Sarid was interviewed on Army Radio where he described a most unusual event. He had a near death experience where he said, “I died. I already wasn’t in this world and watched my children miserably accepting my death.” He went on to describe how he saw his wife drive to the hospital and somehow he was revived. The interviewer asked how he could explain such an incident when he believed that the body and soul are one. His experience would prove that although the body dies, the soul is eternal. Yossi Sarid’s response was that he still believes that the body and soul are one. He then said, “But what happened to me, it seems does not correspond with my ideology.” But the interviewer said, “Therefore, your testimony is the most convincing I’ve ever heard!” When Rav Klamen was hospitalized nearly two weeks before his passing, he called in his family to say good by to each of his offspring. He was eighty four and felt that G-d had blessed him with great abundance. He told his family that he was not afraid and that he knew that his body was no longer functioning. He also felt that it was G-d who was calling him and he even described seeing bright lights when he was in a dimly lit room. He recited clearly the three paragraphs of Shema which were the last words he uttered. This is an amazing contrast of two men who were loved and respected by their families and peers. The message of the story is crystal clear. When one dedicates his life to Torah and Mitzvot, it leaves him with a sense of peacefulness and contentment even when leaving this world. But the scoffer is left with his cynicism and doubt no matter how clearly he is shown the emptiness of his beliefs.

Good Love - Bad Love

One of the classic books on Mussar that deals with improving one’s character is called, “Orchot Tzaddikim”, or “The Way of the Just”. Various human emotions are discussed in this book to allow a person to work on himself in order to find contentment and to become a kinder and more giving person. There is a chapter on the subject of love. The author who is not known writes that love is the most powerful of human emotions. It can be extremely positive when used sincerely in a relationship. And when it comes to loving G-d, this is the highest level of worship. However, there is negative love or bad love that can be very destructive. Often people use the term “love” as a device of manipulation. “I’m only telling you to do this because I love you!” is a common way to get people to do what you want. Parents are guilty of misusing the term love when they want their children to do what they say even if it may not be the best thing for the child. The child is confused because what they are asked to do may not seem right. Ultimately one shows true love by his actions, loyalty, and devotion, and not by words. The Orchot Tzaddikim gives several examples of good love-bad love. In general, he defines good love as love that comes with wisdom and bad love is where the so called love supersedes wisdom. Two such examples are the love of women and the love of one’s children. If the love is infatuation to the point that the woman or child can do no wrong, it is bad love. Parents need to show their love by disciplining a child and not giving them everything they want. Similarly, in a marriage, there must be give and take where each spouse tries to raise up the other. Love of money can certainly be a bad love. This love will lead one to earn his money dishonestly and will not allow this person to be generous and charitable. A good love of money is the reverse. The person feels blessed to have money and he uses it to help people in need. Another example of good love-bad love is the love of relatives. Some families are taught to support their extended families through thick and thin. But what if the relatives are criminals? Should they cover up for their crimes. One must examine his family and see if being close is going to have a positive effect on him. If it doesn’t, he must distance himself. The Orchot Tzaddikim also speaks of being overly obsessed with loving honor and pampering oneself to a ridiculous extent. These obsessions are counterproductive and are clear examples of bad love. If one uses his wisdom, he will measure things carefully before making bad choices. The ideas brought here are meant to give us a kind of self check to see if we really have learned how to love in a good way. We need to be careful how to use this powerful emotion in a positive way to lift people higher and to get closer to G-d.