י״ג מידות and ותרנות

In פרשת כי תשא, Moshe Rabbeinu is taught the י״ג מידות, known as the Thirteen Attributes of Hashem. This is a method of praying to G-d that opens the gates of mercy.

These Thirteen Attributes are a kind of gift to the Jewish people that allows us to be judged with mercy rather than with harsh judgement, דין.

When we learn about this, we are not supposed to draw the wrong conclusions. This should not lead us to believe that Hashem is a ותרן, that He is automatically lenient with us. Hashem is the true judge, and there is ultimate truth in His judgement.

We are not to confuse רחמים, mercy, with ותרנות, giving in to us. The Talmud says that anyone who says that Hashem is a ותרן, is mistaken. The idea of לוותר, is to concede, or give in.

We are not to assume that we can act any way we want, and there won’t be consequences. We are judged appropriately for everything we do. The י”ג מידות and רחמים kick in, after judgement is passed. We ask for mercy in that we ask that we be treated with a lessor penalty. We must never think there is no accountability for our actions. There always is responsibility on our part for what we do. The י״ג מידות will lighten the blow.

And this is the very reason why we say the י״ג מידות at least seven times when we say the final prayer of נעילה on Yom Kippur. This is the time we need רחמים the most.