Control Freaks

Parshat בהר begins by dealing with the subject of שמיטה and יובל. This refers to rules regarding the Sabbatical year and the Jubilee year.

The laws involved with these two laws involves the cancellation of loans, and proper treatment of the Hebrew slave.

The Prophet Jeremiah was known for his rebuke of the Jewish people for not treating their slaves properly. Their was a reluctance to set them free at the proper time, because of their inability to let go of their control.

Rabbi Twerski used this law as an opportunity to speak about the problem of control in relationships. The main reason why people choose to control and dominate others, is their own feeling of inadequacy, and low self esteem. This domination makes them feel important, but it damages such relationships.

This can apply between parent and child, teacher and student, employer and employee, and, of course, between husband and wife.

The bond within a family should be one of love. This love cannot exist when the relationships are full of control.

Our Parsha is telling the controllers to let go and avoid intimidation. The inability to overcome this can have dire consequences as expressed by Jeremiah.