Face to Face Confrontation

This week we read of the reunion between Yakov and Eisav in פרשת וישלח. It was clear that Eisav hated Yakov for taking the first born blessing from him. It looked as though he was ready for war, and he wanted to destroy his twin brother.

Rabbi Twerski felt that a great deal can be learned from Yakov and how he appeased his brother, and ended the conflict.

The turning point that made Eisav cool off from his great resentment of his brother, came when they actually met face to face. Perhaps the gifts Yakov sent, softened him up, but it wasn’t until they met, that things changed.

Rabbi Twerski wrote of some major disagreements between certain Chassidic masters, and their conflict ended as well when they met face to face.

He even quoted Abraham Lincoln who once said, “I do not like that man very much. I should get to know him better!”

When people are not getting along and they stop speaking to one another, they need a cooling off period. But the way to make things right comes with a face to face meeting. Dramatic changes in feelings can occur, when there is a direct relationship.

Obviously, this is not a full proof method, and relationships are very complicated. Nevertheless, if such a solution worked for Yakov, it is something that we should give serious consideration.