Shidduchim

Rabbi Twerski points out that the only real biblical source for Shidduchim, or matchmaking, is the incident of Eliezer seeking a bride for Yitzchak.

What we learn from this incident is that the most important thing to look for in a spouse, is good Midot. When Eliezer saw the kindness and Chessed in Rivka’s behavior, he was convinced that she was the right choice.

The same yardstick should apply today as well, where good character should be on the top of our list of priorities.

In addition to Chessed, there should also be אמת. This means both honesty and being truthful.

The worst way to start a marriage is to conceal flaws until after the marriage. These may involve Jewish genetic diseases, or other serious medical issues. The lack of אמת that is only found out later, may be too painful a disappointment to overcome.

Instead of getting bogged down on expensive and often foolish wedding plans, it is far more important to focus on the kind of home that will be created after the wedding.

And if we learn from the Rivka-Yitzchak Shidduch, that home must have Chessed as its foundation.