Man Was Meant To Struggle

The message of Parshat Vayeshev, comes from a verse from the Book of Iyov. אדם לעמל יולד, “Man was meant to struggle.”

This is the response given to Yakov Avinu when he returned to Eretz Yisrael after having to deal with Lavan and Eisav. Yakov was seeking שלוה, peace. He was hoping that he could enjoy the remaking years of his life without strife.

He needed to be reminded that the place where such peace of mind is achieved, in in Olam Haba, the next world.

In a way, it was a reprimand to him. Isn’t it enough that you will granted eternal bliss in the future? Do you want it now, as well?

The lesson for all of us is that we are meant to have our struggles in this world. We need to learn how to embrace the challenges placed before us.

We are all very much needed to bring out the best in our people. We are to make extra efforts in our serving Hashem. We need to accumulate as many Mitzvot and acts of kindness in this world. This is the way to assure that it’s worth the struggle. Things are meant to be challenging in this world. But meeting up to the challenge is our guarantee that we will merit the same eternal bliss that awaited Yakov Avinu.

Our Mother Rachel

The death of Rachel was one of the most tragic stories in the Torah. Yakov’s one true love perished while giving birth to Binyamin, the youngest of the twelve brothers.

The Torah added that a monument was built in Beit Lechem, her place of burial. The memorial was not made because Rachel needed it. But it was created so that her children could visit her place of burial, and ask her to pray in Heaven on their behalf.

Rachel is viewed more as our mother, even more than the other matriarchs. She is the one who is particularly not at peace when her children went into exile.

There is a great deal of emotion connected with our Mother Rachel. She stood out for her devotion to her sister, Leah and to her children.

We read on Rosh Hashanah the Haftarah that describes “ the voice heard on high. Rachel crying for her children.” This refers to the sadness she felt at seeing the Jewish people leaving their homeland, to live in foreign countries. She is ultimately comforted when Hashem said, “Stop your voice from and your eyes from tears. There is reward for your actions. Your children will return to their borders.”

We are living at a time when the tragedy of Rachel’s life is witnessing a happy ending. Finally, her children are coming home!

Bar Mitzva Speech

There is a clever commentary by the Chidushei Harim, that explains the justification of Shimon and Levi to kill all of the males in the city of Shechem.

He claimed that both boys were thirteen years old at that time. It was already a custom for the Bar Mitzva boy to give an original Dvar Torah, in celebration of his milestone.

There is a Halacha that states that if a Noachide observes Shabbat, he is deserving of the death penalty. For this reason, conversion candidates do one Shabbat transgression until their conversion is complete.

They reasoned that just as one who observes Shabbat is put to death, as Shabbat is referred to as an אות, “a sign,”the same would apply to Gentiles who perform circumcision. Brit Mila is referred to as an אות, “a sign” on the flesh of every Jewish baby boy. This was their Bar Mitzva speech according to the Chidushei Harim.

There were other reasons given as to why the whole city was put to death. They were not allowed to condone rape, and they were obliged to set up courts of justice. This made them all complicit in the terrible violation of Dina.

On Yakov’s death bed he cursed the anger of Shimon and Levi. He did not curse them for the act they did. Maybe the Bar Mitzva boys were not that far off the mark, in their Dvar Torah on their great day!

The Appearance of the Angel

The Talmud in Masechet Chullin has a difference of opinion as to what was the appearance of the angel that wrestled with Yakov.

One opinion was that he had the appearance of a Gentile. The other opinion was that he had the appearance of a Talmid Chacham, a Torah scholar.

The angel was thought to epitomize the Yeitzer Hara, the evil inclination. Yakov was fighting to weaken its influence on his descendants.

The meaning of this Talmudic statement was to warn us of how cunning the Yeitzer Hara can be. Sometimes the carefree lifestyle of the Gentile can be enticing. Self indulgence and pampering oneself might not seem so bad. But such an emphasis on self gratification draws a person away from G-d.

The Talmud is also warning us that we could be fooled by the one who “appears to be a Torah scholar. He might really be the Yeitzer Hara in disguise, when he preaches that an עבירה, a sin, is really a Mitzva. People might be confused because he looks so religious. But the reality be that he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

We must be diligent in our battle against temptations and the Yeitzer Hara. It has many tricks at its disposal. It is up to us to seek truth, and not allow ourselves to go astray from the path of Torah and Chessed.

Humbled By Hashem’s Kindness

Yakov Avinu prayed to Hashem for assistance in his encounter with Eisav. He said, קטונתי מכל החסדים, “I have been diminished by all of the kindnesses.”

He was expressing his gratitude for his success until that point. He left his father’s house with nothing, and now he had grown into two camps, with great wealth.

The Sefat Emet commented on this little prayer of Yakov Avinu. Any act of kindness that G-d showers upon us, should lead to greater humility and a surrendering (הכנעה) to Hashem.

For when a person considers and tries to understand, he will realize how unworthy he is to receive such kindness from the Al-mighty. He will recognize that despite this unworthiness, he received abundance from Above.

The correct way to view the situation, is increased humility, and being more in awe of the Creator. He owes us nothing, and if he did bless us, we should be appreciative.

This is not the case with the nations of the world according to the Sefat Emet. I would add that this is not the case for those who live with a feeling of entitlement. Their reaction to acts of kindness, causes them to be more arrogant than before.

They attribute these gifts as something deserved because they are so great or entitled. They will not even recognize that the gifts are from Hashem.

This is the difference between a believing Jew, and one who is not. Yakov Avinu taught us to be humbled by Hashem’s acts of kindness. We must follow his example.

Protect Your Surroundings

In Pirkei Avot it is written that we are to distance ourselves from a bad neighbor, and we must befriend an evil person.

Yakov Avinu diplomatically insisted on separating from Eisav.

He understood that being in close proximity to his evil brother, would create terrible negative influences to his family. He made certain that Eisav went his way to the souther part of Israel. The mountains near Eilat are known as the Edomite Mountains. They were red in color, just like Eisav, who was also know as Edom, because of his red complexion.

This warning to distance ourselves from evil people is one that should not be taken lightly. We are all influenced by our surroundings, and the people with whom we are in contact.

This is especially true for children, who are very impressionable. There are so many enticements that are capable of leading them astray.

We must put them in the best environment possible, where they would be able to thrive. Yakov understood this very clearly in his dealings with his brother. We must follow his example and stay away from individuals, and even certain locations that do not live according to Torah values.

We must not be foolish and think that it won’t happen to us. Everyone is affected by their environment, and it is our duty to live in the best place for spiritual success.

Yakov’s Strategy

There is great debate among the commentators in judging Yakov’s behavior in his confrontation with his brother, Eisav.

The Alshich pointed out that Hashem was not happy with Yakov for lowering himself before a רשע, evil person like his brother, and called him אדוני, “my master.”

He used the story of Uriah Hachiti, the first husband of Bat Sheva, as his proof. He was sent to the front lines in battle, to be killed. He was worthy of death because he referred to Yoav, the army general, as אדוני. This was disrespectful to King David.

Furthermore, as Jews, we must display dignity at all times. Giving gifts to an unworthy enemy, appears to be unnecessary humiliation.

On the other hand, there were those who felt that Yakov acted correctly. After all, his family was in danger, and he needed to do whatever he could to save them.

The proof that this was justified was related to the relationship between Rabbi Judah the Prince, and the Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius, also known as Antoninus. Rebbe, as he was also known, openly mentioned that he was treating Antoninus, a descendant of Eisav, the same way as Yakov Avinu treated Eisav.

He referred to him as אדוני as well, and a genuine friendship developed between these two leaders.

Rabbi Yehuda Hanassi was given permission to compile the Mishna in Tzippori, as long as he promised not to rebel against Rome.

It is difficult to determine which view is correct, as both arguments are strong. We have similar dilemmas today, where we need to figure out the proper path in dealing with our enemies. The main point was that Yakov and his family survived without any casualties. There must have been some validity to his path taken. Or, maybe he was saved despite his decisions. And so, the debate goes on.

Understanding Galut

There is a certain reality that needs to be clarified. We often write about the Galut, the exile, but its real meaning may not be clearly understood.

There is a positive aspect of modern day Jewish History. I am referring to the fact that most of us, especially the younger generation have not lived through witnessing real persecution of Jews.

If you are in your sixties or above, the Holocaust was something very real. It was something that surrounded you. The freshness of that event with all of its horrors, was part of every day life. You probably had friends whose parents went through it, and had their tattooed numbers to prove it.

The movement to save Russian Jewry, was a struggle against religious persecution. That has not been an issue for decades. Some of us remember the struggles of the Iranian Jews to get out in time to escape their persecution.

In short, recent history has had its moments of anti-Semitism, most notably, October the seventh, but there is nowhere in the world where there is a daily struggle for survival because of being Jewish.

While this is a good thing, it doesn’t allow people to fully appreciate our struggles towards survival that has lasted nearly 2000 years. And it also doesn’t drive home the miracle of our survival under the worst conditions.

If Jewish History was studied more carefully, it would also help us appreciate how unique we are as a people. Empires have risen and fallen, but we continue to survive. This has not happened to any nation on earth in all of human history.

Despite these hardships, the Jewish people continued to contribute to society with all kinds of useful discoveries. The presence of the Jew was always felt.

Now that we have our own homeland, it has allowed us to thrive even more. The burden of exile has been lifted, which has given us even greater opportunities to make the world a better place.

It is important to take pause and recognize and appreciate these special times. And more importantly, it is important to recognize that we would not have gotten to this point without strict adherence to the Torah, and our faith in G-d.

Pure Offspring

The Kuzari gives an interesting explanation as to how the Jewish people became a nation. It took twenty-three generations until the twelve sons of Jacob were born.

There were ten generations between Adam and Noach, and another ten generations until the birth of Abraham. The Kuzari mentioned that all twenty generations were tainted by the venom of the serpent that went into Eve.

This meant that every family had offspring that were evil. The Torah only mentioned the lineage that was good. Even the twenty-first generation had Avraham father Yishmael, who was far from perfect. Yitzchak fathered Eisav who was a very evil person. Only the twenty-third generation of Yakov, was the first time since creation that all of the offspring were pure.

The twelve sons of Yakov were all worthy, and from them, the nation of Israel was born. We were known as a Family Nation.

The family that began with twelve, became seventy souls. During the 210 years of slavery in Egypt, the seventy became 600,000. The State of Israel was founded with a population of 600,000. Seventy-seven years later in 2025, the Jewish population has grown to 7.7 million Jews. This is truly miraculous. It demonstrates the supernatural manner that the Jewish people have been formed as a nation. It also explains why we are the Chosen People with a special destiny in the world.

Rachel’s Loyalty

The loyalty demonstrated by Rachel Imeinu towards her sister, Leah, was one of the greatest acts of kindness in the entire Torah.

She could have easily spoken up when she realized that she was not being given to Yakov in marriage. She would not allow her sister to be shamed or embarrassed, and waited seven more years, according to most opinions, before she was united with her true love, Yakov.

There is only a slight reference to this before the birth of Yosef. The Torah tells us that Hashem remembered Rachel. The interpretation to this verse is that He remembered the kindness that she showed to her sister.

Rav Elazar Abuchatzeira once said that we learn from this devoted act, that we must never destroy another Jew. Even if we were wronged to the point that someone caused us monetary loss, and we sued him and won the case, we may not necessarily collect our debt.

If we learn that collection of the debt will cause him to lose his business and his wife, and he will be destroyed, we will not receive any blessing from this money.

Our Mother Rachel taught us compassion. We are not supposed to take revenge and be so vindictive towards our fellow Jew. She taught us that we must love every Jew, even though many Jews make this Mitzva very difficult to observe.

Four Considered Dead

The Talmud tells us that there are four individual who are considered as dead. ארבעה נחשבים כמת. The handicap of being blind or suffering from leprosy, makes coping with life, very difficult.

The third category of a poor person being like a dead person is learned from a Midrash concerning Yakov Avinu. Eisav had sent his son, Elifaz, to kill his uncle. He really didn’t want to do it. Yakov gave him a solution how to fulfill his father’s wishes and allow him to live.

He gave Elifaz all of his possessions that he brought with him on his journey. Now that he was poor, it was as if Elifaz caused his death.

Rachel demonstrated the fourth category when she demanded of Yakov, “Give me children! And if you don’t, I am like a dead woman.”

The four categories are: Blindness, leprosy, poverty, and being childless. Some learn a different message from this list. We must open our eyes and not be blind to the truth of Hashem and the Torah. We must not act as lepers and quarantine ourselves from taking part in the needs of the Jewish people.

We must not be morally poor, and gain the proper values in the way we conduct ourselves each day. And we must neglect our children where they feel their parents are missing. They are longing for love and discipline, and want to be shown by our examples, the proper way to conduct ourselves in this world.

We must wake up and be alive, and not live like dead people, blindly passing through life.

Yakov’s Doubts

Yakov Avinu’s dream of the ladder with angels going up and down, was meant to give him assurances that Hashem would always be with him. He awoke from this dream with great joy and optimism.

Nevertheless, his humility made him doubt that he would maintain the worthiness of such assurances. The Alshich mentions that one of the worries that Yakov had regarding Eisav, was that he had certain merits that he lacked.

The twenty-two years that Yakov lived outside of Eretz Yisrael, were years that Eisav remained in Israel. Eisav observed the commandment of honoring his parents, which Yakov did not.

But it was the special merit of Eretz Yisrael that caused Yakov the greatest concern. On two occasions, the Torah writes, וישבת לבטח בארצכם, “And you will live securely in your land.” The comment of the Rabbis to this verse is, בארץ אתה יושב לבטח ולא בחוצה לה, “In your land, you will live securely, but not outside of the land.”

Yakov Avinu understood that in Eretz Yisrael we gain merits, just by breathing its air. And the Shechina, the Divine Presence is located in Israel.

Yakov understood all of this and knew that his father was too holy to ever step foot on the soil of Chutz L’Aretz. Eisav had these merits, even when he was Eisav. Hashem helped Yakov and he succeeded and overcame his challenges.

We must drill into the heads of every Jew everywhere, this simple statement of the Rabbis. “In the Land of Israel you will live securely, but not outside of Israel.”

Torah Study Removes Doubts

One of the challenges that is made regarding the authenticity of Orthodox Judaism, has to do with the role of the rabbis.

Many believe that they are not bound by the teachings of the rabbis for various reasons. Some claim that today’s rabbis do not have the same knowledge and authority of the great scholars of the past. Others feel that since there is no accepted rabbinic body for all Jews, like the Sanhedrin, they are not bound by rabbinic law. And there are others who feel that science and technology is too complex for the rabbis to incorporate these advancements into practical Jewish Law.

We learn an important foundation from Yakov Avinu that might answer these critics. We are told that he stopped at the Yeshiva of Shem and Eiver for fourteen years. This detour allowed him to avoid Eisav and gave him the strength to deal with his future challenges.

If those who challenge the authenticity of the rabbis would immerse themselves in the study of Torah and Talmud, all doubts would be removed. We are speaking of immersing in Torah, not just casual learning by attending a class every now and then.

When one devotes himself deeply in Torah study, investing hours, days, and years, everything becomes clear.

He realizes that he is part of a chain that began with the giving of the Oral Law on Mount Sinai. He connects with the Tannaim and Amoraim of the past, and it is as if he is studying together with them.

The Rabbis described the study of Talmud as “the study in the pursuit of truth.”

One feels a very high spiritual connection with this kind of study. One realizes that every question in the world has its answer based on the Torah.

There is nothing that has eluded our great scholars.

It is the diligent study of Torah that has kept us alive through our long and bitter exile. The unwavering commitment to stay within the boundaries of Halacha, allowed us to survive.

Yakov Avinu set the example of how to build the proper foundation. If we would do the same all of our questions and doubts would be removed.

Origins of Anti Semitism

The Torah tells us that Eisav was filled with rage, when he learned that he was outsmarted by Yakov, and the blessing was taken from him.

The exact wording was וישטם עשו את יעקב. This was equivalent to saying that Eisav despised Yakov. This was the basis of the rabbinical statement that as a rule, עשו שונא את יעקב, that Eisav hates Yakov.

This might be the basis for the irrational sentiments of anti-semitism that have plagued us throughout our history to this very day. It is ingrained in the DNA of the Gentile that they do not like the Jew.

This might sound a bit paranoid, but there is good reason for such paranoia. We have suffered for centuries with pogroms, expulsion, and annihilation.

We are to be extra cautious in our dealings with non-Jews. We must not put our faith in them even when they appear to be cordial towards us. Too many times, our so called friends have turned on us.

The good news is that things might be changing. The establishment of the State of Israel has changed the attitude towards the Jewish people. The haters still exist but there are genuine admirers of Israel. In the end of days, everything will be different. There are numerous prophecies that predict how the status of Israel will be elevated among the nations. They will have feelings of guilt for the way they treated us. And they will make efforts to repay us for past injustices.

We live in amazing times, as we believe that the time of Redemption is near. When that comes, finally there will be an end to Eisav hating Yakov.

The Brilliance of the Vilna Gaon

The Vilna Gaon was known for his exceptional brilliance. He often came up with novel ideas in his interpretation of the Torah.

One such example came from the discussion between Rivka and Yakov, when she convinced him to disguise himself as Eisav.

Rivka assures her son that, עלי קללתך בני, that if there is a curse, it’s on me. The word, עלי, means, “it’s on me.”

The Gaon went on to explain that the word, “עלי” was actually an abbreviation for the three men that would ultimately cause Yakov, a great deal of grief. This referred to עשו, Esau, לבן, Lavan, and יוסף, Joseph. (The grief refers to his brothers selling him, etc.)

Later in the Torah when Yosef demands that his brother, Binyamin, be brought to Egypt, Yakov says, עלי היו כלנה, “All of this is on me.”

In this case, Yakov is telling his sons that his mother promised him with the word, עלי, that he would only have grief from three individuals.

If you take Binyamin from me, I will have grief from a fourth person. This is not what my mother promised.

We see the brilliance of the Vilna Gaon in the manner that he connected these two words found in different places in the Torah. Absolute brilliance!

Overly Righteous

There is an important Pasuk in Kohelet that has great relevance today. In Chapter 7:16, Shlomo Hamelech warns, אל תהי צדיק הרבה, “Do not be overly righteous.”

Rav Steinsaltz elaborates on the meaning of this statement. Reality is complicated and twisted, and, therefore, one must be careful. Do not be excessively virtuous , by being merciful in an exaggerated manner.

One should not be extreme in distancing oneself from sin. One can grow mad or depressed through extreme behavior. Excessive righteousness or wisdom can backfire.

Conversely, do not be overly wicked, and do not act foolishly. Why should you die before your time.

Adopt the middle road; do not go to any extreme. For one who fears G-d, he is the moderate person. He will emerge from them all. There are many problems destined for those who tend towards the extreme.

This message is rarely emphasized nowadays. Extremism is very prevalent in the religious world. It is a path that leads to intolerance and self righteousness. We must take the middle ground and be assured that our fear of Hashem will protect us. This is the proper way to serve Hashem.

Intermarriage

The subject of intermarriage comes up as we learn more about Yakov and Eisav. We see the strong emotions felt by their parents.

The Torah tells us that when Eisav was forty, he married to Hittite women, Yehudit and Basmat. He tried to give the impression that he was emulating his father who married at this age.

The reaction of Yitzchak and Rivka is that they were filled with מורת רוח, “a bitterness of spirit.” In other words, they were heartbroken that their grandchildren would be descendants of the evil Canaan nations.

Later, when Yakov flees from Eisav, his mother warns him not to intermarry. She uses the words, קצתי בחיי, “I am fed up with my life, if you choose a wife outside of our faith. Yakov obeys and goes to her family to find a wife.

It seems that with all of the events of the last two years, and the challenges of worldwide antisemitism, the subject of intermarriage does not come up.

Reading the weekly Torah portion reminds us of the tragedy of Jews willingly leaving their faith. Nevertheless, there are some encouraging signs.There has never been so much interest in converting to Judaism, since the days of David and Solomon. There is a spiritual awakening in Israel, inspired in large part by the war and inspiration of the hostages.

Hopefully, the realization that we stand alone with G-d, and He is watching over us, will inspire all those that have gone astray, to come home.

There should be an end to the bitterness of spirit and the heartbroken feelings that too many of us have realized. The plague of intermarriage, should end once and for all.

Clash of Philosophies

The Alshich described the clash that existed between Eisav and Yakov. It was not merely the clash between a Tzaddik and a Rasha, but it represented two world views.

We see from Eisav’s willingness to sell his birthright for a bowl of lentil soup, how he viewed the world. He told Yakov that since he was about to die, he had no need for a birthright.

His philosophy sounded like an old beer commercial. “You only go around once, so you need to grab for all the gusto you can.”’

It was a philosophy of “eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you die.” There was no afterlife. It was all about self indulgence, physical pleasures, and materialism.

Yakov, on the other hand, was “a simple man, who dwelled in his tent.” His essence was one of humility, simplicity, and righteousness. He could not relate to the pleasure seekers of the world. He understood that man needed to work on self perfection. He was focused more on the next world than this world.

There is no question that the major difference between living in Israel, or in the Diaspora, is that the spiritual potential is much greater in Israel. “The air of Israel makes one wise.” It is the dwelling place of the Shechina, the Divine Presence. Hashem is felt here like nowhere else in the world.

Yakov could not live with Eisav. His lofty ideals would be diminished being around such extreme materialism.

We must recognize this about human nature. If we wish to grow spiritually, we must make efforts to put ourselves in the best possible environment, around others that share our ideals. Yakov understood this. We must do the same.

Yitzchak Avinu

Parshat Toldot gives us the greatest insight about Yitzchak Avinu. We were given much more information about Avraham and Yakov.

The Midrash comments on Yitzchak’s heroic at the Akeida, but his role is not mentioned in the text of the Torah. Many do not realize that he was thirty-seven years old when he showed his willingness to be offered as a sacrifice.

We are also told in this week’s Parsha that Avraham fathered Yitzchak. This Pasuk tells us that he emulated his father, and followed in his path of righteousness. Yitzchak even looked like Avraham.

He was considered extremely holy because of his being bound on the altar. Because of this, he was not allowed to leave Israel. This also explains why Eisav and Yakov both wanted to receive his blessings.

He was blessed with great wealth, which he tried to conceal. He did not want to arouse the jealousy of his neighbors. This was difficult to do when a large portion of his wealth was in livestock.

This led to a confrontation with Avimelech, who was very jealous of Yitzchak. They eventually made a treaty after Avimelech on two occasions stopped up the wells, dug by Yitzchak. The third time the wells were dug, the controversy had ended.

The Ramban wrote that the wells signified the Temples. The first and second were destroyed, but the third will last forever.

We recognize the greatness of Yitzchak thrice daily in the Amida prayer. We mention the G-d of Avraham, the G-d of Yitzchak, and the G-d of Yakov. Although a great deal was not written about Yitzchak, we recognize him as one of the great pillars of the Jewish people.

Hate Evil

Lavan, the brother of Rivka, was one of the most evil people mentioned in the Torah. There is even an opinion that Lavan and Bilaam were either related, or were even the same person.

There is a comment by the Alshich that is most telling. He wrote that Lavan’s first impression of Eliezer was that he suspected him of wanting to abuse his sister. He could not believe that there wasn’t some kind of devious motive on the part of Eliezer.

This type of thinking is indicative of a deceitful person. He assumes that the other person thinks like him. In Eliezer’s case, he was successful in convincing Rivka’s family, that his intentions were noble.

When Yakov Avinu had to deal with Lavan, he saw how a person could sink to such a low level of שקר, falsehood. From the time he switched Leah and Rachel, it was clear that he was לבן הארמי, Lavan the Aramean. But if you switch the letters of ארמי, you get the word, רמאי, a cheater.

There is often a clash between people who live by being honest and truthful, and those who live by the lie and falsehood. It is almost impossible for them to understand one another.

The cheat cannot believe that it’s even possible to be honest. And the honest person cannot believe that such crookedness could exist.

We are taught that the only time hatred could be a good trait, is when we hate evil. We must distance ourselves from liars and cheats, and those who are jealous of us. Nothing good comes from having a relationship with such people.

This also applies to family members. Sometimes they can be even more harmful than non-relatives. King David said of himself, שקר שנאתי, “I hated evil.”

The Torah is warning us that, unfortunately, there are people that behave like Lavan. As difficult as it is to understand them, we must outsmart them. But more importantly, we must distance ourselves from them. Sometimes it takes a long time to free ourselves from the Lavans. It took Yakov twenty years, but in the end, his extricating himself from him, laid the foundations for the creation of the Jewish nation.