Being “In Denial”

It is difficult to understand how Yosef recognized his brothers, when they came down to Egypt, but they did not recognize him. Rashi says that Yosef was sold at the age of seventeen when he did not have a beard. Now, at thirty-nine, he had a full beard, and that is why they did not recognize him.

Rabbi Twerski presses the point and says that a beard does not completely cover one’s features. There are still clear family resemblances even with a beard. There is also a Midrash that says that when Shimon was incarcerated and tried to get away, Yosef’s son, Menashe, struck. Shimon was impressed by the blow to the extent that he commented that only a member of his family can hit that hard!

The reason why they didn’t consider that the viceroy of Egypt was their brother, shows the power of denial. Because they justified their actions in selling their brother, they couldn’t possibly accept that he had risen to such a position of power.

This shows how denial can be a very negative way of looking at things. It deprives that individual of being able to see reality as it is. It may be that he subconsciously chooses not to accept the truth, because that truth is too painful to accept.

We must remember that there is a connection between אמת, truth, and שלום, peace. There cannot be peace if there is no truth. Being in denial, prevents seeing the truth.

When the Jews were in Egypt, they lived by the Nile. Today they live “in denial!”