Honoring Parents

Rav Elazar Abuchatzeira זצ״ל discussed the Mitzva of כיבוד אב ואם, honoring parents. Despite the explanation of the ספר החינוך, that we fulfill this Mitzva by showing הכרת הטוב, gratitude, to our parents for all they have done for us, there is more to be said.

Rav Joseph Soloveitchik further endorsed this explanation of the חינוך, by saying that the mourning period for parents is a full year, rather than thirty days, because of הכרת הטוב.

Nevertheless, Rav Elazar felt that the key words mentioned in the Pasuk about honoring parents, was, כאשר צוך, “as I commanded you.” We must never lose sight of the fact that all Mitzvot are גזירת המלך, a decree of the King.

If we honor our parents solely because of הכרת הטוב, we will not receive the reward of long life. It will only come when we also acknowledge the כאשר צוך aspect of the Mitzva.

Whether we agree with a given Mitzva or not, the כאשר צוך aspect, shows complete הכנעה, surrender, to the decrees of the King. For that sacrifice and commitment, we receive the greatest rewards.