Conquering Anger

The tragic story of Moshe Rabbeinu hitting the rock is in פרשת חוקת. There are many interpretations as to why Moshe was punished so severely, in being denied entry into Eretz Yisrael.

One of the interpretations involved Moshe’s inability to control his anger. A person of that stature should not have allowed himself to be overcome by this negative character trait.

The Ramban, in his famous letter to his son, known as אגרת הרמב״ן, tells him that the key to success in life, is to conquer anger. If he can do this, it will lead to many positive character traits. He will be able to achieve humility, because anger is a sign of the opposite of humility.

The angry person has the arrogance to feel that he doesn’t deserve to be treated a certain way. He shows this dissatisfaction by losing it and getting angry.

It is important to recognize the losses that come with anger. We end up saying things that we later regret, and the damage of these words, is often irreparable.

A person can lose his job by getting angry at his boss, and he can even lose his marriage by not being able to control his fits of rage.

A great deal has been written in our holy books on the subject. It takes a great deal of עבודת נפש, working on our souls, to overcome angry.

One way to start is to realize that the losses are so much greater than the gains. It’s just not worth it to hold on to this negative emotion.

The Torah is teaching us that Moshe paid a heavy price for his anger. We must avoid having to learn this the hard way. We must get to work right away at conquering anger.

Struggle for Torah

It is important to mention the classic teaching of the lesson learned from the positioning of words in the Torah.

The subject under discussion are the laws related to ritual purity for having come in contact with the dead. The emphasis is on the hidden message.

The Pasuk reads, זאת התורה אדם כי ימות, translated as, “This is the teaching connected to a person passing away.” Even though the continuation of the verse gives specific details related to such impurity, Chazal decided to end with those words, because of the importance of the message.

The homiletic license used by the Rabbis would explain the Pasuk as follows: This is the essence in acquiring Torah study. One must make great sacrifices (ימות) for it. Because it is so precious, one must go to great pains to merit the treasures found in Torah study.

It is not something that is meant to come easy. One must make it his absolute priority, and work hard with great diligence, to acquire its teachings.

But there really is a treasure that awaits the individual who delves into it. The rewards are immeasurable, but probably the greatest thing is how it gives a person perspective and peace of mind. He knows what is important and what is not. And he has a defined purpose in this world. It is definitely the most worthwhile pursuit one can have.

Take Stock of Ourselves

Another play on words from פרשת חוקת comes from the words, בואו חשבון. Literally these words mean to come to a place called חשבון.

Homiletically, the Torah is telling us to make a חשבון, or calculation as to how we are doing as observant Jews. There are many Mussar books that advise making daily self examinations as to our עבודת ה׳. We need to monitor our love and fear of Hashem, and take responsibility for valuable time wasted.

Rabbi Twerski spoke of how Western Civilization is into “seizing the pleasure of the moment,” without taking into account the price paid for momentary indiscretion. It is a kind of “buy now, pay later” mentality. If people thought a little more, they would not get into spiritual debt.

Pirkei Avot tells us, איזהו חכם? הרואה את הנולד. Who is wise? the one who takes into account the consequences of his actions.

This is the meaning of בואו חשבון, that we are constantly doing self checks, to be certain that we are on the right path in how we function as Jews and individuals.

Biblical Abortion

In addition to the Pasuk in פרשת נח that lets us know that abortion is murder, there is another similar Pasuk in פרשת חוקת.

In נח, murder is defined as שופך דם אדם באדם, the spilling of blood of a human, inside another human. This clearly refers to a mother carrying her baby, and killing it would be forbidden as one of the Seven Noachide Laws, that apply to both Jews and non-Jews.

In פרשת חוקת it is written, הנוגע במת בנפש אדם, which refers to becoming defiled by having come in contact with the dead. This Pasuk is telling us that if a tragedy occurs, and the fetus dies, and the mother becomes aware of this situation, the dead fetus causes the same defilement as being under the same roof with an actual corpse.

This painful case is described in מסכת חולין, where Rabbi Akiva quotes this second Pasuk and clarifies that טומאת אבל occurs even by an עובר במעי אשה, a fetus inside a woman.

As unpleasant as it is to raise this subject, it is important to be aware of biblical sources, as the subject of abortion has become a big news item subject to great debate.

Man Doesn’t Know That Much

Parshat חוקת begins with the discussion of the laws of the פרה אדומה, the Red Heifer. The Rabbis say that the mother cow comes to atone for the sin of the baby. This is a reference to the sin of the Golden Calf.

Rabbi Twerski has a unique explanation as to how the פרה אדומה atoned for חטא העגל. The Golden Calf was a misapplication of human logic. People thought they could figure things out, and it made sense to them that this form of worship was correct. The sin was giving too much credit to man’s ability to reason and make proper decisions. This warped thinking led to great suffering for the Jewish people.

The פרה אדומה was an atonement because it was impossible to understand its reason. It even alluded the wisest of all men, Shlomo Hamelech. The message here was to emphasize that man is incapable of devising a system of right and wrong. Only G-d can teach morality and what is right and wrong.

By the Golden Calf, there was a gross exaggeration of man’s ability to make such decisions. The פרה אדומה teaches that man is not that smart, and it would do him good, to submit without hesitation to Hashem and His holy Torah.

Jewish Unity

A final word about the saga with Korach. There is a Pasuk that says, ולא תהיה כקרח וכעדתו, that we must not be like Korach and his congregation.

The Torah is telling us how important it is to avoid divisiveness among our people. Rabbi Twerski that factionalism has forever been our undoing. This message should be so obvious, but is not emphasized enough.

The חפץ חיים was well known for his efforts to do everything possible to avoid מחלוקת, disagreements. There once was an effort by a group of individuals in his town of Radin, who wanted to create their own חברא קדישא, burial society.

The חפץ חיים was very upset about this, he made an impassioned plea to prevent this from happening. He said that all merit would be lost because of divisiveness. A separate חברא קדישא would harm the potential for Jewish unity. He would not allow this to happen.

It is quite shocking that such a basic concept as אחדות, unity, could allude so many people. We have witnessed the strength of the Jewish people when they are united. When this happens, power on earth has dominion over us.

The work that Chabad does is to be praised. They welcome Jews of all backgrounds without discrimination. I was recently told that the Chabad House in Boston does not even restrict the entry of non-Jews. As a result, the Chabad rabbi discovered many lost Jews that didn’t even know they were Jewish, had they not been welcomed to the Chabad House.

So much good could come to our people if we only found ways to be unified. Learning of Korach’s rebellion was meant to be one of those moments where the important subject of Jewish Unity would come up.

Stealing

A statement of Chazal suddenly flashed before me. In reference to the Flood, the Rabbis said that לא נחתמה גזר דינם אלא על הגזל, that the fate of the generation of the flood was sealed because of theft.

During my present stay in the United States, my children witnessed outright theft. They watched an individual walk into a store with a bag. He filled the bag with various items and walked out of the store without paying. Many watched, but nobody said a word.

In another incident, my daughter forgot her sunglasses in a cart for a very short time. When she came back, the glasses were stolen.

It is very frightening in view of the above mentioned Chazal, what the future brings to a society that condones stealing.

We say that the law of one פרוטה, a penny, is the same as a hundred. They say that it’s not a punishable offense unless the theft exceeds a certain amount.

Rabbi Twerski pointed out that the concept of “the pursuit of happiness,” is really misinterpreted to mean “the pursuit of pleasure.” There is a huge difference between happiness that comes from self indulgence, and happiness that comes from giving to others as we perform Mitzvot.

It is very upsetting to see the state of America today. So much of the reason for its decay is the lack of G-d and belief in Him, that is substituted for doing whatever feels good.

The real tip-off of the seriousness of the situation is גזל. If people paid attention to the words of our Sages, they would realize that tolerance of theft leads to disasters as great as the Flood!

Accepting Rebuke

Another interesting factor in the Korach episode was the initial reaction of Moshe Rabbeinu. The בעל התניא said that when the Torah tells us that Moshe fell on his face, he was actually doing some serious soul searching.

Despite the absurdity of the accusations against him, Moshe contemplated the possibility that maybe they were right. This was another example of his greatness. The typical reaction when one is accused of wrongdoing, is to respond with, “You’re not so perfect yourself.”

Often people criticize with malice and the criticism is not justified. Nevertheless, our own ego should not get the better of us, where we immediately dismiss the criticism as out of hand.

Moshe Rabbeinu is teaching us that we should still consider what is being hurled our way. If there is something in it that will make us better people, then we will still benefit from this unpleasantness.

This is why one of the forty-eight ways that we acquire Torah is אוהב את התוכחות, to love rebuke. And this can even apply when the rebuke comes from an unworthy person like Korach.

Feelings of Superiority

A further analysis of Korach’s behavior is necessary in order to understand how one’s distorted thinking can lead to very grave consequences.

It is interesting that Rabbeinu Yona, author of שערי תשובה, and lived during the thirteenth century, had an amazing insight into crooked thinking. Using one’s intellect, and not letting one’s emotions get the better of him, is usually the correct way to function in this world. It would have allowed Korach to recognize beyond a doubt, that Moshe Rabbeinu was the chosen leader of the Jewish people.

Rabbeinu Yona pointed out that there are people who try to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy and lack of worth, by thinking that they are superior to others. And when one thinks he is superior, he will seek honor. It all begins by failing to recognize that such feelings of superiority, really come from subconscious feelings of inferiority.

If someone had good feelings about himself, and accepted exactly who he is, without delusions, there would be no need to seek honor and recognition.

This was what led to Korach’s downfall. He allowed himself to believe that he was superior to Moshe, and he was deserving of honor. What a brilliant observation of human nature from Rabbeinu Yona, and what an important lesson this is for us.

The Danger of Envy

It is actually astounding that there could be any kind of rebellion against Moshe Rabbeinu. There should have been no doubt that he was chosen by Hashem to be the leader of עם ישראל.

Many commentators point to the power of envy and how it causes a person to lose his ability to think logically. It is for this reason that in Pirkei Avot it’s written that קנאה תאווה כבוד מוציאין את האדם מן העולם, envy, lust, and honor seeking, remove a person from the world.

The passion of envy can remove all rational thought from an individual. Every individual must recognize just how damaging jealousy and envy can be.

The remedy is to constantly remind ourselves how fortunate we are to have what we have. We must learn to be שמח בחלקו, happy with our lot in life.

There will always be people that have more than us. But there will be many, many, more that have less. The story of Korach, the richest man in the world, shows how destructive envy can be. We must all learn to overcome it.

The Tragedy of Rebellion

Shavua Tov from LA-

It is interesting to note that the beginning of פרשת קרח starts with the singular, ויקח קרח, and Korach took. It is followed by the plural, ויקחו, and they took.

The “they” included Datan and Aviram, Korach, and און בן פלת. These individuals joined together with the common goal of רק לא משה רבינו, anyone but Moshe Rabbeinu. (Sounds like Israeli politics as in רק לא ביבי.) They did not really take into account that if they succeeded in bringing down Moshe, only one of them would be able to lead. It was only the wife of און, that saw this, and protected her husband from a no-win situation.

Those who fail to learn from history, are destined to repeat it. And isn’t it interesting that this Parsha falls in the middle of political unrest in Israel.

The lesson here is clear that we need to think very clearly before we get “sucked in” on some kind of holy campaign. We must make sure that the cause is completely לשם שמים, “for the sake of Heaven.”

People tend to act without thinking and rationalize the justification in joining some kind of holy mission. When it comes down to it, what began as the act of of an individual, even if others join in the battle, it ends up being a struggle for one individual’s desire for power. This was the tragedy of Korach, and such conflicts and rebellions, must be avoided.

Three Pillars

The end of פרשת שלח has the story of the מקושש עצים, the one who gathered straw, and desecrated Shabbat. He was probably צלפחד, the father of only daughters, who later asked for a share of Eretz Yisrael.

It is known that three pillars of Judaism are Shabbat, Kashrut, and Family Purity. These three areas become the foundation of every Jewish home. When any of the three are compromised, there is a serious breach in the level of spirituality of that particular home.

In modern times, there are two additional symbols that reflect one’s commitment to Judaism. I believe they are ציצית and the Kippa. I have seen a painful pattern over the last several decades. When a young man comes from a Torah observant home, where Kippa and ציצית were a given, and he decides that these important symbols are no longer precious to him, it has a definite effect on the three pillars previously mentioned.

With the self imposed leniency on Kippa and ציצית, come leniencies on the level of exactness in Shabbat, Kashrut, and Family Purity. This is a troubling reality of what I have seen happening over and over again.

We can rationalize that Kippa is only a Minhag, custom, and we can justify not having to wear Tzitzit all day. But when such thinking turns to discarding these Jewish symbols, a very heavy price is paid. And that price is a watering down of these three precious pillars of Judaism.

Importance of ציצית

The end of Parshat שלח, discusses the Mitzva of wearing ציצית on a four cornered garment. It is really an object that serves as a reminder.

Some people complain that this is a difficult Mitzva to observe. It is uncomfortable and adds even more heat in the hot summer. It is seen “only” as a positive commandment, and there is really no punishment for the non-observance of a מצות עשה, a positive commandment .

The Rabbis don’t really see it this way, as ציצית play an important role in Jewish life. When one wears this holy garment, he has a constant awareness that he is an observant Jew. The words, למען תזכרו, in order that you remember, is the essence of this Mitzva.

In addition, the ציצית also reminds us not to, “turn after our eyes, or after our hearts.” The “after our eyes,” tells us to guard our eyes and not look at things that could arouse temptation. The “after our hearts,” is a warning not to allow ourselves to be exposed to heretical teachings that could lead us away from the path of Torah.

So we see that despite the discomfort associated with wearing ציצית, one must look to all the benefits that come with this Mitzva. We are helped to stay in focus as to what our priorities need to be in life.

Early Imprints

The Mitzva of הפרשת חלה was given after the episode of the spies. The commandment to give the first of the dough was connected with the entry of the Jewish people to Eretz Yisrael. It was a kind of reassurance that despite their grievous sin, they would still inherit the land.

It is interesting to note that the Torah chose to use the words, ראשית עריסותיכם, which has a double meaning. One explanation of עריסה, is “dough,” but עריסה can also mean, “cradle.”

Rabbi Twerski explains this homiletically to mean something totally different. He wrote that there was a hint to educating our children from the cradle.

This is particularly true today when there are so many outside influences that take our children away from Judaism.

The earliest imprints a child witnesses, could have long term effects. Even from the cradle, a baby should see images of holy religious sites, or pictures of saintly Jews.

It may be more important that such pictures are on the wall in a child’s bedroom, instead of, or in addition to, the usual Disney characters that surround a child.

Perhaps holy rabbis or biblical scenes should be given greater priority than Mickey or Minnie. This really is a serious matter as such images leave a lasting impression.

This is also why some parents will even bring infants or small children to Shule, so that there are these early imprints. And it goes without saying, the message parents will give their children as to what their priorities ought to be.

The ראשית עריסותיכם is meant to teach that we be aware of how impressionable young children are, and it is our duty to make sure that these impressions be of holiness and purity.

Negative Humility

The role of Yehoshua in the episode of the spies is somewhat enigmatic. It appears that he needed to maintain a low profile because of his close relationship with Moshe.

This is the reason we find that Kalev did most of the talking. The other spies knew where Yehoshua stood, but were not as sure about Kalev.

But we also found that perhaps Yehoshua possessed a little too much humility. There are those who believe that Yehoshua should have asserted himself much more than he did. This also explains why he was in need of a name change, to help him through this ordeal.

Humility is definitely a very positive trait. But there are times when the יצר הרע can play tricks on us. It convinces us to refrain from action in the name of humility, when the reality is that humility needs to be cast aside for the needs of the moment.

This was Yehoshua. He needed to put aside his humility, and fight for the greater good of עם ישראל. This, too, is a valuable lesson in Midot.

Low Self Esteem

Rabbi Twerski makes an interesting observation about self esteem and the spies. When they gave their evil report about Eretz Yisrael, they said that the inhabitants were such giants that we appeared to them as חגבים, grasshoppers. They also said, וכן היינו בעיניהם, “and so were we in their eyes.”

This last statement demonstrated how the spies perceived themselves. Rabbi Twerski wrote that the way you think about yourself, is how you “think” others see you.

To put it bluntly, if you see yourself as a loser, or lacking worthiness, this very well could be the way others will treat you. A Jew must carry himself in a dignified manner. If you want others to respect you, then you must begin by respecting yourself.

The bottom line is that it is essential that we learn not to act with רגש, our emotions, as they can play harmful tricks on us. It is far better to act with שכל, our intellect, so that we can objectively avoid the pitfalls of low self esteem.

The spies taught us just how destructive low self esteem can be.

Crying for Nothing

Parshat שלח is the saddest and most tragic Parsha in the whole Torah. The sin of the spies led to בכיה של דורות, a crying for many generations.

The Midrash says that Hashem said that you cried בכיה של חינם, a crying over nothing. Now, this date will be remembered for the numerous tragedies that will fall on it-most notably, the destruction of both Temples.

There is a huge lesson in these Midrashic words. Terrible consequences occur when one “cries for nothing.” This is an indication that such a person is self absorbed and full of self pity. He fails to see the positive in life, and is occupied with feeling sorry for himself.

It is difficult for such people to have a successful marriage or meaningful relationships for that matter. People generally distance themselves from negative, bitter people.

This explains why Hashem distanced Himself from that entire generation. Such ingrates were not worthy of entering our blessed Land.

It is almost equally tragic that so many Jews who should know better, choose the path of כפויי טובה, ingratitude, and are unable or unwilling to recognize the remarkable miracle and gift of the State of Israel.

If the Torah were truly studied, such obvious lessons would not be overlooked.

Body and Soul

The book, דרך ה׳, the Way of G-d, by the Ramchal is a classic work on Jewish philosophy. It is meant to strengthen the Emuna, faith of the reader, and ultimately, bring him closer to Hashem.

The Ramchal makes many important observations, but one of them particularly made an impression. He explained that the universe consists of both spiritual, unseen beings, such as angels, and purely physical creations. This consists of the animal kingdom.

But there is only one being in all of creation that has elements of the physical, as well as elements of the spiritual. This, of course, is man.

He has a physical body with all of its material needs, but it also has a soul breathed into it, that has an eternal aspect to it. This Neshama allows man to rise to the level of an angel.

This is the struggle that one has to deal with. Many fail to be aware that they possess this spiritual potential, and choose to live a life of self gratification.

The wise Jew realizes that just as the body needs its nourishment, so does the soul. When one gives more attention to the soul, he is granted an overwhelming sense of peace of mind and contentment. He learns that physical pleasures are fleeting, but spiritual rewards last forever.

The brilliance of the Ramchal is how he lays out very deep concepts in a clear, understandable manner. These concepts are meant to get the reader thinking about life, and where his priorities should be.

Don’t Be Overzealous

The incident involving Eldad and Meidad is a lesson in being overly zealous. When Moshe asked for help in managing עם ישראל, Hashem chose six men from each tribe to help form the new Sanhedrin of seventy. Twelve times six equals seventy-two, which meant that two of the seventy were not chosen. These two were Eldad and Meidad.

Although not chosen to serve in the Sanhedrin, they still acquired רוח הקודש, and they began prophesying in the camp. This disturbed Yehoshua very much. He was particularly bothered because their prophecy predicted that Moshe would die, and he would lead the Jewish people into Eretz Yisrael.

Yehoshua could not deal with the reality that his beloved rebbe and teacher, would one day pass away. His zeal got the better of him, and he lost touch with reality.

He asked Moshe, כלאם, to restrain them. ( This word has the word, כלא, meaning jail, in it.) This was not viewed as the appropriate response to the Eldad and Meidad situation. Moshe needed to get Yehoshua back in touch with reality. He said, המקנא אתה לי, are you zealous on my account? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the entire nation became prophets. There was nothing to be upset or zealous about.

This is the message here. We should certainly observe Mitzvot with enthusiasm. But if we become overly zealous, we might become out of touch with reality, and we might draw the wrong conclusions regarding right and wrong. Moshe taught this lesson to Joshua, but it is certainly relevant to us all.

Priorities

Rabbi Twerski pointed out that a great deal can be learned from the complaints of the Jews in the desert. They were focused on the monotony of the same food, the Manna, that they ate every day. They remembered the watermelon of Egypt, and they were sick of this לחם הקלוקל, spoiled bread.

This is an indication of how people can allow themselves to get side tracked and obsessed over petty matters. Parents get upset because their children have their toys strewn all over the house. They focus on the mess rather than appreciating that they were blessed with children. Instead of being upset over food that may not be tasty, be grateful that there is food, and family members are not going to bed hungry.

Rav Meir Kahane once told me that the blessing he gave his children every Friday night was, “May you always remember what is important and what is not.”

This was the problem of the Jews in the desert. They were out of focus. They allowed themselves to get upset over foolish, unimportant things, while losing sight of the bigger picture. This is such an important lesson for all of us.