Unable to be Comforted

We learn this week of the selling of Yosef by his brothers. This was a horrible crime that was later rectified by the Ten Martyrs who were thought to be a reincarnation of the ten brothers.

When Yakov is sent the bloody Coat of Many Colors, he goes into mourning for his beloved son. The Torah tells us, וימאן להתנחם, that he refused to be comforted.

The Rabbis have a statement that says, גזירה על המת שנשתכחים מן הלב, that it is a decree that when one passes away, he is forgotten after twelve months. However, if the person has not really died, the mourner will not be comforted. This could apply to one missing in action or one who went overseas and was not heard from.

In Yakov’s case, this was a clear sign that Yosef was still alive. He refused to be comforted and the usual rules of mourning did not apply to him. Shabbat Shalom

Yakov and Yosef

This week’s Parsha, וישב, begins with Yakov’s return to Eretz Yisrael with the hope that he will finally have some peace of mind. Immediately, we learn of his special relationship with Yosef, and the problems that immediately followed.

Rabbeinu Bechaye lists numerous similarities between Yakov and Yosef. Aside from looking alike, both had brothers that hated them. Both of their mothers, Rivka and Rachel, were barren and had to pray hard to conceive. Both were born circumcised. Both were shepherds and married their wives in Chutz L’Aretz. Both were escorted by angels. (It was an that helped Yosef find his brothers.) Lavan was blessed because of Yakov and Potiphar because of Yosef. And finally, both died in Egypt and both were mummified.

It is quite interesting how a thorough examination of the text and commentators, gives us such a deep insight into our biblical characters.

New Beginnings

One of the beautiful aspects of Judaism is that no matter how far a person falls, he can always start over and pick up the pieces.

At the end of last week’s Parsha, we learned about the lineage of Eisav. They were very corrupt, evil people. We are also told that Eisav’s wife’s name was בשמת. Rashi points out that her name was also מחלת. This was meant to teach us that when one gets married, his sins are forgiven. The name מחלת, has the word, מחילה, forgiveness, contained in it.

We are also taught that when one moves to Israel, his sins are forgiven as well.

If one gets himself into a financial mess and cannot see how he will ever pay off his debts, the שמיטה year comes when all of his debts are forgiven. One must never despair. One can always resolve to start over and get things right.

Yakov’s Truthfulness

Yakov Avinu was known for being truthful and honest. The commentators say that because a Tzaddik does not steal. Therefore, Yakov went back to retrieve forgotten small packages.

Rabbeinu Bechaye claims that the reason Yakov’s name was changed to ישראל, was in order to remove any stigma that he may have had in order to outsmart crooks like Lavan and Eisav.

In Eisav’s case, he even used the words, ויעקבני זה פעמיים, implying that he was deceived by Yakov two times. He was referring to his selling of the birthright and Yakov taking away his blessing.

Being able to be smart and avoiding being cheated by dishonest people, does not diminish from one’s pursuit of truth.

It is always important to have integrity and high moral standards. It is not a Mitzva to allow oneself to be taken advantage of and degraded. This we learn from Yakov/Yisrael, the man of truth.

The Dina Incident

The incident of Dina and Shechem Ben Chamor is very troubling. Rabbeinu Bechaye claims that Dina was eight years old at the time, and Shimon and Levi were thirteen and twelve years old.

The Rambam does not go into this question of ages but does justify that the acts of Shimon and Levi, were correct.

It was known to all that it was necessary to observe the Seven Noachide. A violation of any of these seven laws was punishable with death. The inhabitants of that city, were collectively guilty of two of the Seven Noachide Laws.

They were guilty of kidnapping as they all knew that Dina was taken against her will, and they did nothing. The city was expected to set up courts of justice, as dictated by the Torah. They were obliged to try Shechem for his sin against Dina. They did nothing in this case, either.

For these reasons the Rambam believed they acted properly. Yakov Avinu cursed their anger but did not curse their action. A very troubling and difficult episode, indeed.

Be a Mentch

Shavua Tov. One of the interesting historical stories related to today’s Parsha, is the relationship that existed between Rabbi Yehuda Hanasi and the Roman Emperor Antoninus.

The latter was a descendant of Eisav and yet, had great admiration for רבי. When רבי wrote letters to אנטונינוס, he began with the words, כה אמר עבדך יהודה, so said your master, Yehuda, similar to the way Yakov addresses Eisav. Antoninus would reply with, וכי עבדי אתה, and do you think you are my servant!

Numerous times during our Galut, such relationships were critical for our survival. We must always maintain a cordial relationship with our Gentile neighbors. We only need to keep our distance from turning this relationship into a social relationship. Being cordial, well mannered, and acting like a “mensch”, is always the correct path to take.

Surviving Galut

In פרשת וישלח, we learn how we are to deal with an oppressive רשע, evil person. The Rabbis say, מותר להחניף רשע בעולם הזה, that it is permitted to flatter an evil person in this world. Yakov’s handling of Eisav had hints as to how we were to cope with our long, horrible exile.

When Yakov sent gifts to עשו, he told his servants, רוח תשימו, make a space or gap between one gift and another. Yakov was asking Hashem in a way, to give breaks to עם ישראל between one difficult period and another in our exile.

When Yakov divided his camp into two, Yakov was asking that when we were in Galut, if Jews had it bad in one part of the world, things would be easier for Jews in another part of the world.

We are also taught that when Yakov bowed seven times before Eisav, he would one day rise above him.

Our Galut has been long and bitter. Finally, today we live in a world where there is no religious persecution for Jews anywhere. This seems to be a clear sign that the Galut is ending and Mashiach is knocking on the door. All we need to do, is let him in. Shabbat Shalom

Dreams and Birkat Kohanim

Regarding dreams and Birkat Kohanim, there is a big difference in the way the Priestly blessing is recited in Israel and outside of Israel.

For Ashkenazi Jews, ברכת כהנים is said approximately 450 times a year. In חוץ לארץ it is said about ten times a year. When it is said on those ten occasions, before the end of each of the three blessings, there is a traditional melody that is sung by the Kohanim (usually very off key!).

The reason for stretching out the ברכת כהנים in חוץ לארץ, was to give time to the congregation to say the more lengthy version of cancellation of dreams, during this singing.

In Israel, we do not need to wait for one of the festivals to hear ברכת כהנים. Therefore, we recite one paragraph beginning with the words, אדיר במרום to nullify our dreams. We also have the option of a shorter prayer where we make a more direct request of Hashem to turn bad dreams into good ones.

Dreams

The subject of dreams is dealt with in depth at the end of מסכת ברכות. There are many opinions as to how to deal with them.

One opinion is that it is best not to talk about a troubling dream. It may be best to put it to rest. This is because, often the way it is interpreted has an effect on its coming into being.

Often dreams are a reflection on what has transpired during the previous day. Therefore, the Rabbis give more attention to dreams before waking in the morning rather than those at the beginning of the evening.

There are times that we are deeply troubled by a dream we may have had. If this happens, there are three possible solutions. One can declare a תענית חלום, a fast, on the morning it occurs-even if it is on Shabbat. Secondly, one can ask three close friends to take part in a ceremony known as הטבת חלום, found in many Siddurim. And a final simpler solution is to recite a short prayer while the Kohanim are blessing the people.

All three of these procedures are meant to nullify the negative aspects of the dream.

May all of our good and happy dreams come true!

Exemplary Behavior

Our Tanach teaches how to behave in an exemplary fashion. King David taught us how to admit when we are wrong. He did this when Natan the Prophet showed him his error with Bat Sheva.

Yehuda was also shown in an indirect way how he was responsible for Tamar’s pregnancy. He answered with the words, ״צדקה ממני״ that she is more righteous than me.

Tamar risked her life and was willing to be thrown into a fiery furnace, rather than embarrass Yehuda.

And perhaps the most noble act of all was the loyalty Rachel showed her sister, Leah. She gave up marrying the man she loved, instead of seeing her sister humiliated. Had she revealed Lavan’s trickery, Leah would have been a laughing stock and probably would not have been one of the matriarchs.

We must learn to emulate these noble acts mentioned in Tanach.

Three Keys

The Gemara speaks if three keys that are not handed over by Hashem to a שליח, messenger. They are: the keys to bring rain, the keys to תחיית המתים, the resurrection of the dead, and the keys to childbirth.

These three items require prayers and are dependent completely on Hashem’s kindness.

This is the reason that Yakov responded to Rachel, התחת אלוקים אנוכי, “Am I in place of Hashem?” He would have loved to have been able to see Rachel with child, but realized that it was not within his power to do so.

Occasionally, we need reminders that very little is really within our own powers. Everything depends on Hashem and it is He that decides when to bless us with שפע, abundance. All we can do is pray and hope and do what is in our power to do. The rest is up to Him.

נדר ומידת ההסתפקות

Shavua Tov. When Yakov began his journey to both run away from Eisav and look for a wife, he made a נדר, a vow.

Generally, it is preferred that one not be in the habit of making vows. However, Chazal say נודרים בעת צרתן, that one can vow in times of trouble. Sometimes the vow shows the severity of the situation and the one making the vow takes upon himself an extra Mitzva to show his dependence on Hashem.

Yakov did exactly that. He offered to give a tenth of all he has to Hashem in return for Hashem’s protection.

He asked for the minimum; לחם לאכול ובגד ללבוש, bread to eat and clothing to wear. Yakov taught us מידת ההסתפקות, the quality of being satisfied with whatever Hashem sends our way.

We learn from this incident about the nature of vows and learning to appreciate what we have.

Yakov’s Dream

Yakov’s dream of the ladder is filled with depth and mysticism. It is possible to imagine having a dream of a ladder with angels going up and down. However, figuring out its message, is far more difficult.

Rabbeinu Bechaye says that this was a dream of prophecy where Yakov Avinu was given several messages. He was informed that his children would need to struggle with the four powerful empires of Babylonia, Persia, Greece, and Rome. The Galut would be a difficult challenge but in the end, the Redemption will come.

Yakov was also shown מקדש של מעלה, the Heavenly Beit Hamikdash that was to be opposite the future Temple to be built in Yerushalayim.

And probably the most reassuring vision that Yakov had was that his children would multiply like the sand by the sea. The knowledge that the Jewish people would prevail, allowed Yakov to wake up reassured and full of hope.

We, too, must never despair. Hashem is with us and if we trust in Him, we will prevail. Shabbat Shalom

יושר and בוגד

In this week’s Parsha, ויצא, we are taught how every location is affected by the presence of a צדיק living there. When Yakov left Beer Sheva, the spiritual level of that place was lowered.

The book of Mishlei alludes to not only the contrast between the Tzaddik and the רשע, wicked one, but also to the ישר and the בוגד.

The ישר means that he is straight, or honest. He loves יושר, straightness, and chooses it in every situation. He will suffer any difficulty that he needs to, in order to maintain יושר.

The בוגד, traitor, is the opposite. He does not even know what יושר is and will certainly not admit to it.

The רשע and בוגד tear down their city. The ישר and צדיק strengthen their city.

This is learned from Yakov. Wherever he decided to live, that place became a better place.

Yakov and Eisav

The main lesson to be learned about the struggles between Yakov and Eisav, is to understand their essences.

Eisav showed his true colors with his willingness to sell the birthright for a bowl of lentil soup. He had the philosophy of eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you die. He was not at all spiritual. Everything was about גשמיות and material pleasures.

Yakov was the opposite. His life was devoted to the spiritual and serving Hashem. He realized the temporary nature of this world, and how there must be an עולם הבא. Their difference was simply that Eisav was materialistic and Yakov was spiritual.

People are frustrated when they have so much materially but happiness alludes them. Selfish pursuits never lead to contentment. Selfish people are unhappy people.

Giving selflessly to others, brings joy. We are meant to follow in Hashem’s ways. Just as He constantly gives, so must we. Yakov understood this and became a צדיק. Eisav did not and became a רשע.

Intermarriage

Rabbeinu Bechaye commented on the small letter ״ק״ in the word קצתי. Rivka tells Yakov קצתי בחיי, meaning, “My life is over”, if you marry a non-Jewish wife.

The letter ק is equal to 100 and the Second Temple stood 100 Amot high. The connection, according to Rabbeinu Bechaye is that the sin of intermarriage is the cause of the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash.

Apparently, intermarriage has plagued us throughout our history. Because of it, we have suffered greatly. Today, we have become numb to this tragedy.

A rabbi of mine once said that when the Torah said, אין בית אשר אין שם מת, that there was no house without a dead body in connection with the death of the first born, today it refers to the fact that there is no family that does not have someone who married out.

May we be זוכה to see an end to this plague when all return to Torah, Mitzvot, and Eretz Yisrael.

Dealing With Gentiles

There is a subtle lesson learned in yesterday’s Parsha in the manner in which Yitzchak Avinu dealt with Avimelech.

Yitzchak had suffered a great deal of aggravation from Avimelech as the wells he dug were filled up by Avimelech’s servants. Despite all of this, Avimelech asks Yitzchak to make a treaty between them. Yitzchak’s response is that it makes no sense as they have shown over and over again that they hate him.

We see that we must be very careful in our dealings with the Gentile world. Their interaction with us is entirely because of their own self interest and opportunism.

Avimelech saw that Yitzchak was an איש מצליח, a successful man. He realized it would be good for him to stay on good terms with him. It was not because of his love for Yitzchak.

We must learn from this incident and be very cautious with our eyes open, when dealing with the Gentile world.

Mitzvot in Israel

Shavua Tov. Rabbeinu Bechaye asks an interesting question regarding today’s Parsha. Yitzchak is told by Hashem that Avraham kept all of the Mitzvot down to the last detail.

The Gemara says that Avraham even kept the laws of Eiruv as he knew the entire Torah intuitively. If it’s true that the Patriarchs kept the entire Torah, how did Yakov marry two sisters and how did עמרם marry his aunt, יוכבד?

The answer by Rabbeinu Bechaye is that these apparent violations took place outside of Eretz Yisrael. But in Israel, they did keep all of the Mitzvot. Another proof that the Mitzvot in Chutz L’aretz are all for practice to get it right in Israel.

Look Alikes

There is an interesting parallel between the story of King David and Avigail and Avraham and Yitzchak. This is brought by Rabbeinu Bechaye.

Yitzchak’s lineage was questioned, as many suspected that it was Avimelech who fathered Yitzchak. In order to remove these rumors, Hashem caused Avraham and Yitzchak to look identical.

King David had a run in with Naval, husband of Avigail. After he died on Yom Kippur, David took Avigail as his wife. Although he waited three months, because Avigail conceived immediately, many spoke badly about David and accused Avigail of having conceived from slaves.

In this incident as well, the son born, Kilav, looked exactly like David.

History repeats itself and Hashem always comes to the aid of צדיקים. Shabbat Shalom

זכות אבות

Mishlei has another Pasuk that is a good introduction to פרשת תולדות. “The crown of elders is grandchildren, and the glory of children, is their parents.”

Shlomo Hamelech is telling us that children are a crown and give honor to their parents. This could refer to Avraham Avinu. It was in his merit that תרח had merits and was saved.

The Avot, the elders, are an adornment to their children and grandchildren when they are צדיקים, righteous.This is especially true when they follow in the ways of their saintly grandfather. Yitzchak and Yakov fulfilled this role beautifully.

This became a foundation of Judaism. The special merit acquired by the Patriarchs gave their descendants זכות אבות.

This special merit of זכות אבות allowed us to overcome numerous enemies wishing to destroy us throughout our history.

It is the hope of every Jewish parent that their children follow in the ways of their parents and ancestors in upholding our Torah and Mitzvot.