A Tzaddik’s Behavior

The story of Yakov wrestling with the Angel, seems to be focused on the spiritual and the mystical. The entire incident is debated between the Rambam and Ramban, as to whether this was a dream, or it really happened.

The Ramban takes the position that the event really did take place. His proof is that Yakov came away limping. If it was a dream, he would not have woken up with an injury.

I believe that the focus of this incident should be on a small detail. Yakov was left alone because he went back to retrieve small packages that he left behind.

A truly righteous person is extremely careful not to be involved in גזל, theft. He takes great care to hold on to his own possessions and will not take what doesn’t belong to him.

Just as a צדיק is careful with his speech, and does not tell lies, or speak לשון הרע, he is also careful not to be accused of dishonesty on any level.

Because Yakov lived according to these principles, he merited an incredible spiritual experience.

Yakov’s Strategy

Shavua Tov. We learn that when Yakov confronted Eisav, he called him “אדוני” my master, eight times. He referred to himself as “עבדך” your servant, five times.

Yakov’s strategy in dealing with Eisav, is debated by the Rabbis. Some felt that it is permitted to flatter a רשע in this world. Yakov’s behavior was justified.

Other Rabbis felt that it was wrong of Yakov to humiliate himself before an evil person. A Jew should always have self respect and dignity. And perhaps such cowering before the Gentile might even show a lack of honor for Hashem.

This question is not really resolved. However, the Gemara tells us that Rav Yanai used to read the passage of the meeting of Yakov and Eisav, before meeting with Roman authorities. Perhaps he felt that if what Yakov did was successful, then he, too would be successful.

Don’t Rely on Miracles

The confrontation between Yakov and Eisav, teaches an important lesson. Yakov taught us how we are to cope with life’s challenges.

He taught us the principle of אין סומכים על הנס, that we are not allowed to rely on miracles. We must do our part דרך הטבע, in a natural way.

This is referred to as השתדלות, that we need to put things into motion so that we are able to allow Hashem to do His part.

It’s like the idea that we cannot expect to win a lottery unless we buy a ticket. We need to create the apparatus in which we become a vessel to receive Hashem’s שפע, His abundant blessings.

We are not meant to sit back and do nothing, and expect miracles. Like Yakov Avinu, we must act.

Yakov gave gifts to Eisav with the hope it would soften him up. He also prepared for war, and he prayed.

He did his השתדלות and did not rely on miracles. This is why he was able to withstand the threat of his evil brother.

Learn When to Keep Quiet

In Parshat ויצא, we learn a very valuable lesson that is most appropriate during these troubled times. This is the scenario:

Lavan is furious with Yakov and wants to kill him. Hashem comes to Yakov’s aid by appearing to Lavan in a dream. He warns him that he better not harm Yakov, or else. The next day, Lavan casually tells Yakov that his G-d spoke to him the previous night and he will not harm him.

If Lavan wasn’t a רשע, he might have been moved by his spiritual experience and should have considered doing Teshuva. Instead, he made light of this, and remained Lavan the Cheat.

We learn from this, that we need to carefully consider when it is worth our while to try to convince others of our opinion. We see that people can be so stubborn and set in their ways, that even Divine intervention will not move them.

We need to be wise enough to know where it is worthwhile to make efforts to influence, and when we are better off keeping quiet.

חומש

There is a Mitzva learned in the Parsha, regarding the giving of Tzedaka. It is known that we have a kind of deal with Hashem.

If we give our מעשר כספים, ten percent of our earnings to charity, Hashem always finds a way to return this money to us. In a sense, we are allowed to even test G-d in this matter, and we will not be left empty handed.

However, when Yakov made his vow about giving מעשר to Hashem, he used the words, עשר אעשרנו לך, a double language of tithing. The Rabbis learn from this that Yakov was referring to double מעשר, or חומש. This חומש means a fifth or twenty percent of our earnings.

This so called deal does not apply when one gives more than חומש. Such a person is careless and wasteful, and is not leaving his family enough to live on.

The only exception to this rule applies to a very wealthy person. He is allowed to give even more than חומש, because of his great wealth.

All of this is learned from Yakov’s double language of עשר אעשרנו.

Poverty

Rav Elazar Abuchatzeira זצ״ל, focused on Yakov Avinu’s request for לחם לאכול ובגד ללבוש, bread to eat, and clothing to wear.

Yakov was pleading with Hashem not to leave him impoverished. He understood the emotional strain that is placed on one who cannot provide for the basic needs of his family.

I know of people who give the majority of their צדקה to feeding the poor. Their reasoning is that, “Hungry people cannot learn.” We need our own wake up call to be reminded how fortunate we are that we know where our next meal is coming from.

The Gemara in בבא בתרא further emphasizes the difficulty of being poor. It mentions that איוב, Job, was consoled by his friends, that despite the horrible suffering he went through, he, at least did not have to go through poverty.

We need to be more sensitive to the needs of the poor, and not take for granted Hashem’s abundant blessings that he has bestowed upon us.

Making Vows

When Yakov set out on his mission of finding a wife, and dealing with Crooked Lavan, he made a נדר, a vow. He promised that he would give מעשר, a tenth, of all of his possessions to Hashem. He also promised his unflinching loyalty to Hashem, his G-d.

Many question if it was correct that Yakov made such a vow. In the Book of Kohelet, it says that it is better not to make a vow, rather than make a vow that is not fulfilled.

Nevertheless, the exception to this rule about making vows, is בעת צרה, during a time of trouble. At such a time, vowing to take on some kind of spiritual promise, could be in order.

It shows that the individual going through a difficult period, is putting his faith in Hashem for help. He is also promising to try to be a better person, by adding positive actions to his behavior.

Making vows could be an act of boasting and showing off. Not making good on promises is a very serious offense. This is the reason we begin Yom Kippur with Kol Nidrei. We cannot ask for forgiveness when there are outstanding promises that we did not keep.

We learn from Yakov Avinu that in exceptional cases, we can make a vow as a means of getting closer to G-d.

נחלה בלי מצרים

Shavua Tov-

Yakov Avinu was promised many things in his dream of the ladder.

One such promise was that the Land of Israel would be given to his seed, and the land would burst forth in all directions, as if there were no borders. This is referred to as a נחלה בלי מצרים, an inheritance with no borders.

This same phrase, נחלה בלי מצרים, is attributed to one who spends money to make his Shabbat עונג, an adornment. Even though it is said that one’s פרנסה, livelihood, is determined from one Rosh Hashana to the next, there is a promise that expenses spent on Shabbat, will be reimbursed.

This guarantee only takes effect if the emphasis on Shabbat is its spirituality. Buying expensive delicious food alone, is not enough. It must be accompanied with Torah and holiness. Only then will the guarantee of נחלה בלי מתרים, take effect.

Rachel’s Chessed

The stories in פרשת ויצא are filled with drama. We have the love story between Yakov and Rachel, the role that poor Leah played, and the difficulty of dealing with the deceitful Lavan.

It is probable that Rachel’s act of faithfulness to her sister, Leah, is one of the most admirable positive behaviors in all of Tanach.

Rachel was not prepared to see her sister humiliated, had she exposed Lavan’s deceitful plan. She allowed her own personal feelings of love for Yakov, to be put on hold, so that her sister would be able to become one of the matriarchs, and not be forced to marry Eisav.

For this reason, Rachel had eternal merit. Her prayers after the destruction of the Temple, and the subsequent exile, were heard over those of the patriarchs. She was able to remind Hashem of her mercy towards Leah. This allowed Hashem to be merciful to the Jewish people.

Rachel is to be remembered and emulated for her tremendous act of Chesed, and we should learn to follow her example.

התוכחה מביא שלום

Yitzchak Avinu had a confrontation with אבימלך regarding the wells that he dug, that Avimelech sealed. The Torah tells us that Yitzchak rebuked him about his jealous behavior. Eventually, they made peace and parted on good terms.

Based on this story, the Rabbis said that this teaches that התוכחה מביא לידי שלום, that rebukes lead to peace.

Often we avoid confrontations with individuals that we believe may have wronged us. But it is recommended that we give rebuke to such people. Aside from the good feeling we have about “getting things off our chest,” such sincere rebuke may have surprisingly positive results. Perhaps there will be sincere remorse on the part of the other party, and indifferences could be mended.

If Yitzchak Avinu was able to make peace with Avimelech by way of rebuke, we, too, can create peaceful results by not being afraid to rebuke.

Avraham and Eiruv

Yitzchak is told that he will have great merits because of his father’s steadfast faith. And because he kept all of the Mitzvot.

The Rabbis made a strange statement by saying that Avraham Avinu observed the entire Torah down to its last detail. He even observed the Mitzva of Eiruv. The Torah Temima says that it is understandable that Avraham was on such a high level that he knew what was in the Torah intuitively. But the עירוב תבשילין, being able to cook when Yom Tov preceded Shabbat, was a purely rabbinical decree. Could Avraham have known even that?

He answers that the Eiruv referred to, was עירוב תחומין. This type of Eiruv has its basis in the Torah. One is not allowed to leave the city limits on Shabbat, at a distance of 2000 Amot, unless he makes an Eiruv. This would consist of a small meal that would await the individual at this distance. Once the meal was eaten, he could walk another 2000 Amot.

It was this Eiruv, that Avraham Avinu was aware of.

Anti-Semitism

Rabbi Munk chose the birth of Eisav as an opportunity to speak about anti-semitism. It is known that עשו שונא את יעקב, that Eisav hated Yakov. But the question is “why”?

The reality is that it has never been possible to discover and identify the true motives of anti-semitism.

Eisav represents Rome and Christianity. There was always antagonism between Rome and Jerusalem. There is no logical reason for this antagonism. Countless studies have tried to explain this, but without success.

It has been within the nature of the Gentile, to have a disdain for the Jew. It might be a symptom of Galut, the Exile, that Jews were destined to suffer at Eisav’s hands.

Jews rejoiced alone, while their suffering was met with joy by the Gentile. It was important that Jews accepted this reality. If they didn’t, they were often disappointed.

The comfort in accepting this harsh reality, was that this was not meant to be a permanent condition. When it became time for the Galut to end, this hatred would also end.

The resentment of the Jew, would turn into the admiration of the Jew. As we see our beloved State of Israel grow stronger, we see a far greater respect of the Jewish people.

Anti-semitism will continue until all Jews wake up and realize that they do not belong in the Galut. Thankfully, that day is drawing closer and closer each day.

חנוך נער לפי דרכו

Rabbi Elie Munk in his קול התורה, analyzes Yakov and Eisav, from the aspect of education and proper parenting. It might be that each twin demonstrated certain character traits from a young age, but was it really unavoidable that Eisav was destined to be a רשע, evil person.

Rabbi Munk quotes a verse in Mishlei that says, חנוך נער לפי דרכו, educate a young lad according to his path. Two children of the same parents are not necessarily going to come out the same way. Parents need to adjust according to the nature of that child.

It takes infinite patience to make the adjustment and realization that expectations cannot be the same with our children.

One child might be an instant book worm, who excels in school and never needs to be reminded to do his homework. His sibling might be totally disinterested in his studies, and needs to be encouraged and motivated.

This is the challenge of parenting. Parents must objectively recognize their child’s strengths and weaknesses and adapt accordingly.

On the one hand, there was a Divine destiny in terms of the role Eisav was to play. But perhaps had he been handled differently, he would have been a different person.

Torah in the Womb

Shavua Tov- Rav Elazar Abuchatzeira זצ״ל, asked two questions related to the Parsha. The questions relate to the twins, Yakov and Eisav in the womb. Firstly, if a baby is being taught the whole Torah while in the womb, why did Yakov try to get out when Rivka passed a house of study. And secondly, if we are commanded to stand when a תלמיד חכם passes, why don’t we stand for a pregnant woman, who is carrying a child who knows the entire Torah? The first answer is that Yakov was unable to learn Torah peacefully when he was in the company of his wicked brother, Eisav. It is difficult to be immersed in Torah study when one is surrounded by a negative environment. One must always choose to live among righteous people, so that his spirituality and Torah study can flourish. And the reason we don’t stand for a pregnant woman (unless riding on a bus and giving her your seat), is because the fetus is being spoon fed the Torah by an Angel. He is not struggling to wake up early and stay up late at night to acquire Torah. He is not running to classes and learned rabbis, so that his knowledge can grow. We, therefore, stand for the Talmid Chacham, not only out of respect for his scholarship, but also for his diligence in acquiring the Torah.

Eisav’s Teshuva

We are introduced in this week’s Parsha, תולדות, to the evil son, Eisav. The prevalent opinion among the Rabbis is that Eisav represents Rome, or Christianty, and Yishmael represents Islam. It is difficult to be certain of the ultimate role that Yishmael and Eisav are destined to play in the “end of days.” The בעל הטורים, at the end of the Parsha expresses that it is Yishmael, or Islam, that must be subdued, before the Mashiach is able to come. Eisav, despite his evil, is meant to do Teshuva during that same time. Rome will no longer wish to harm us, but will even help us get to Messianic times. The Pasuk, ורב יעבוד צעיר, “the great one, (Eisav) will serve the younger one (Yakov), has not yet been fulfilled. It does, however, hint that a time will come when Eisav will want to make things right. The Teshuva is needed to rectify the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Jews at the hands of the Christians, during our bitter Exile. We are living during miraculous times and the events going on are greater than our comprehension. However, we are beginning to see how these predictions of the ultimate roles of Eisav and Yishmael and Eisav, do seem to be unfolding before our eyes.

גזירה שוה

Every morning at the beginning of our Davening, we recite the thirteen methods of deriving Torah law, according to Rabbi Yishmael. These methods were given on Mount Sinai, as part of the Oral Law. These derivations, have the status of Torah laws, and are binding. One of these thirteen methods, is called גזירה שוה. One is not permitted to invent a גזירה שוה, as these must also originate on הר סיני. The גזירה שוה refers to a situation where the same word is used in two different instances, and there is a common denominator between the two. Parshat חיי שרה had one of the more well known Gezeira Shave’s. It is referred to as קיחה קיחה משדה עפרון. The purchase of מערת המכפילה has the usage of the words, לקח את השדה, that Avraham “took” the Cave of Machpeila. And it is clear that “taking” meant that he purchased it with money. In the Book of Devarim, the Torah discusses marriage with the words, כי יקח איש אשה, when a man takes a woman. The גזירה שוה principle teaches that “taking” refers to money. Therefore, we learn that when a man takes a wife, he must give her something that has monetary value. (There are other methods of marriage, but this is how marrying with כסף is learned. This is the example of גזירה שוה as taught by רבי ישמעאל.

Eliezer, Yiftach, Shaul

The Rabbis tell us that there were three individuals who made inappropriate vows. They were Eliezer, Yiftach, and Shaul. It is not recommended that one make conditions with G-d. In Eliezer’s case, things ended well. He succeeded in finding a worthy wife for Yitzchak. The situation with Yiftach did not have a happy ending. He foolishly said that the first to come out of his tent, would be sanctified to Hashem. His beloved daughter came out first, and because of the vow, she was never allowed to marry. In Shaul’s case, he was convinced to take back his vow. He declared that anyone in his army who would not fast, would die. His son, Yonatan was unaware of the decree, and ate honey on that day. Shaul rescinded his ruling, and Yonatan was allowed to live. We learn from this, that we should pray to G-d in critical times, but we should not make conditions with the Master of the Universe.

זקן בא בימים

The Pasuk tells us that אברהם זקן בא בימים, that Avraham was old, and advanced in years. We learn a principle that applies throughout the Torah. The word “זקן” is actually an abbreviation of three words, זה שקנה חכמה, this one who has acquired wisdom. The idea of זקנה, is really a compliment referring to one who has succeeded in accumulating a great deal of Torah knowledge. It does not have that much to do with age, although usually an older person has had more years to gain knowledge. Therefore, when Yosef is referred to as בן זקונים, or Eliezer being called זקן ביתו, we are being told that they studied a great deal of Torah. The word, שיבה, is the more appropriate term to describe old age in terms of years. We are also commanded to show respect for an elderly person. Another comment on this Pasuk of זקן בא בימים, is that Avraham recommended that people show physical signs of aging. This was meant to prepare loved ones that it was man’s destiny to ultimately leave this world. Aging made this a little easier to deal with death. This is another example of how much can be learned from examining a Pasuk more deeply.

Pay the Shadchan

We learn from the Pasha how careful Eliezer was to muzzle his camels on his way to search for a wife for Yitzchak. He wanted to be sure that he did not violate the prohibition against stealing from private fields on his journey. Rabbi Elazar Abuchatzeira זצ״ל pointed out a serious problem that exists in the Shidduch world. He told of several instances where couples married and they were unable to have children. When these couples went to various Gedolim, to find out what was stopping them from starting a family, surprisingly, they were asked if they paid their Shadchan, marriage broker, their fee. On numerous occasions, they had not paid, as the couples didn’t feel that the Shadchan was worthy of her fee. The Rabbis explained that this was a serious form of גזל, theft, and until they made things right, they would not be blessed with children. This is well documented that this story repeated itself on many occasions. And once the Shadchan, or Shadchanit, in modern Hebrew, was paid, babies soon followed. This demonstrates how careful we must be to stay away from גזל, on any level.

Purchasing Land

Shavua Tov. Sometimes Halachic matters are learned from what appears to be a simple story. In today’s Parsha, we learn of the purchase of מערת המכפלה. The Torah teaches that the cave was sold together with the adjacent field, together with the trees in the field, that surround its border. The Gemara in בבא בתרא teaches that certain details regarding the purchase of a field, can be learned from the Torah’s description of this sale. The Torah implies that regular trees are included in the sale. However, valuable trees, such as the חרוב, carob tree, and the סדן השקמה, a grafted sycamore tree, are not included in the sale, unless specifically specified. By mentioning the borders, we learn that an elevated or recessed border, that has trees growing on it, is also included in the sale. It is interesting how astute our sages were in applying principles of civil law, that were based on the Torah.