Giving and Taking

This week’s Parsha is תרומה. Rabbi Twerski makes a fascinating observation from the first Pasuk. The Torah says, ויקחו לי תרומה, “And take for Me a donation.” The correct language should have been, “give” Me a תרומה. The Torah is teaching a valuable lesson.

For most people, it is much easier to take, rather than give of themselves or their possessions. However, there are many people that have a problem taking, or asking for help.

Some find it demeaning to ask for assistance. Some jeopardize their health by refusing to get the care that they need.

People who cannot accept help or even advice, show signs of low self esteem. Rav Ovadia of Bartenura made a profound statement. “One who has no mercy on himself, cannot have mercy on others.”

Rav Twerski once thought that a recovering alcoholic would be a great spokesperson to help others be relieved of their addiction. However, when he found out that this woman stayed in her home for three days with no heat, rather than stay with her welcoming neighbor, until heat was fixed, the Rabbi commented.

He told the woman that since she refused her neighbor’s help and suffered needlessly, she was not yet ready to help others.

The Torah teaches the importance of giving, but there are times when receiving may even be more important.

Being Considerate

A large section of פרשת משפטים discussed damages and the sensitivity we are supposed to have towards other people’s property.

We are to guard our animals to be certain they do not damage a neighbor’s crops or possessions. The same is true that we are not allowed to dig a pit in a public domain where someone might fall and get hurt.

We must control our temper and avoid getting into a fist fight with our neighbor. If we harm him, we pay for his inability to work as well as doctor bills.

The overall message is learned from Pirkei Avot. It is written, יהי ממון חברך חביב עליך כשלך, may the property of your friend be as dear to you as your own.

This all might sound like a pretty simple message. However, today there is clearly a lack of consideration and respect for other people’s possessions. This could explain the littering in the streets, and overall lack of consideration for others.

A possible solution to this problem comes from the words, ונקרב בעל הבית אל האלוקים, that the householder must appear before a judge. In this context, אלוקים, refers to honest judges. But אלוקים can also mean Hashem. If we would only realize that we will one day stand before Hashem, and we will give an accounting for all of our actions, we will tend to be more careful how we treat others and their property. Perhaps this will remind us to also to be kinder and more courteous in our overall treatment of others. There are times when the obvious also needs to be said.

Verbal Abuse

In פרשת משפטים, we have two laws related to treatment of parents. There is the commandment against striking one’s parents, and drawing blood. And there is also the commandment prohibiting us from cursing our parents. There is a death penalty attached to both offenses.

We see from here how damaging words can be. We do not fully realize that verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse. The physical wounds heal much more easily than the wounds inflicted with our mouths.

Rav Shimshon Refael Hirsch once responded to one attempting to justify his verbal tirade. That individual claimed that his harsh words were only meant to defend himself against the mean comments of the other side. Rav Hirsch said, “Instead of protecting yourself, you have thoroughly destroyed the other side.”

Verbal abuse in marriage or in parenting, can have devastating effects. Words are capable of removing a person’s self esteem and self worth. They are like daggers that inflict wounds that are difficult to ever fully recover.

The Torah is teaching us this lesson regarding our treatment of our parents. Perhaps this is because honoring and caring for our parents, presents serious challenges. Despite things that our parents might say to us, they get a pass. Our obligation to respect them, continues in life, and beyond the grave.

Legitimizing the Mamzer

A problem in Halacha is the concept of ממזר. This refers to the offspring of a forbidden union such as adultery or incest. The Torah tells us that the ממזר is not allowed to enter קהל ה׳.

This term, קהל ה׳ is translated as the congregation of G-d. The Mamzer may not marry a regular Jewish girl. He can only marry a convert or female ממזרת. Unfortunately, this status is transferred to his offspring as well.

The Parsha offers a solution to remove this blemished status. The שפחה כנענית is a non-Jewish maidservant, subservient to her master or mistress. However, she takes upon herself all of the Mitzvot that any Jewish woman observes. In essence, she goes through a conversion process, so that if she is freed, she is a regular Halachic Jewish woman.

Rabbi Tarfon in מסכת קידושין, suggests that the ממזר marry a שפחה כנענית. Their son would be an עבד כנעני, technically, a Canaanite slave. However, when this son is given his freedom, he is completely Jewish. He loses his Mamzer status.

This could be a theoretical solution in our times. But it is important to recognize the wisdom of our sages. And, perhaps there could be a way to implement this even today.

Succot in Autumn

Although פרשת משפטים is known for its numerous civil laws, there is also a mention of Shabbat and Chagim.

A novel explanation for celebrating Succot in the fall, is given by מעינה של תורה. Typically, we explain that although the Jews dwelled in Succot in the desert, and Pesach celebrates the exodus, we observe Succot in the fall to emphasize how life is temporary and we need to put our trust in Hashem.

The explanation that I found reminds us that Succot also was an indication of Hashem’s protection with the ענני הכבוד, Clouds of Glory.

When the Jewish people sinned with the Golden Calf, the Torah tells us that the nation was פרוע, or exposed. This meant that the ענני הכבוד were removed from Israel. After the intense prayers of Yom Kippur, the Clouds of Glory returned. In celebration, they made a holiday a few days later, called Succot. It was a holiday giving gratitude for these Clouds of Glory.

Compromise

Shavua Tov-

Rav Shlomo Mann noted that the word, משפטים, is actually a mnemonic that reads as follows: מצוה שתעשה פשרה טרם יעשה משפט. This means that it is a Mitzva to come to a compromise before going to court.

The word for compromise is פשרה. It is interesting that in spoken Hebrew, מים פושרים, refers to water that is lukewarm. We can see the connection as to how it means, meeting in the middle.

The Gemara in מסכת סנהדרין, expresses opposition to coming to a compromise before a trial. It seems highly unfair to the side that is right and took a loss, and should be paid in full. This would seem to be rewarding the guilty party of his obligation.

Rav Mann would say that the justification speaks of the importance of שלום, peace, among Jews. A bitter court battle might ultimately reveal who is right and who is wrong. But in the process, many harsh words are likely to be spoken in court. There is little chance that the litigants will remain friends.

Compromise is not a full proof method, (I almost wrote fool proof method!) but it leaves the greatest hope of remaining friends. The Rabbis say, גדול השלום, how important Shalom is. Hopefully, פשרה accomplishes this.

Jewish Legal System

This week we read פרשת משפטים. It is filled with numerous laws that form the basis for the section of Shulchan Aruch known as חושן משפט.

It deals with matters related to property damage, personal injury, theft, and other forms of damage. This set of laws form the backbone of a society to function properly. They are practical and understandable. They are enforced by a fair system of courts and judges.

One of the special features of these laws is that they are dealt with swiftly. You do not have a system where it could take months for cases to be tried in court. The decisions are made efficiently, and the sentence or decision is carried out quickly.

There was a story told of one of the Chassidic masters who was challenged by local government officials in justifying why cases in Jewish courts were completed so quickly.

The Rebbe answered in a clever manner with a parable about a wolf and lion who were fighting over the carcass of a lamb. They went to the sly fox to decide the case. While he was deliberating, the hungry wolf began nibbling on the edges of the lamb.

By the time the fox decided that they should divide the lamb, there was little left to share.

The Rebbe explained that in a Jewish court, the litigants receive what is due to them. In a secular court, the fees consume so much that there is little left for the parties involved.

This story occurred 200 years ago, and even then, it was the lawyers who got rich. Jewish law tries to avoid this.

Danger of Rationalizing

Among the Ten Commandments is the one that says, לא תשא שם ה׳ אלוקיך לשוא, that we are not to take Hashem’s name in vain. This is an overall obligation to watch our mouths and not make false oaths or declarations.

In addition, included in this commandment is our responsibility to be honest and truthful in all of our dealings.

Rabbi Twerski says that we learn from here the dangers of rationalizing. People somehow find justifications for such negative behaviors, as lying, cheating, and stealing.

This comes about through the ability to rationalize for a variety of reasons. By adhering to the strict dictates of the Torah, one learns that he must be honest and truthful in all of his dealings.

Perhaps if we realize that rationalizing and justifying dishonesty is actually a violation of one of the Ten Commandments, it will provide the motivation to separate from such falsehoods.

It must be stated loud and clear that rationalizing is a form of שקר. It is dishonest. There is right and wrong in this world. We must choose truth and never take G-d’s name in vain.

Do Not Covet

The last of the Ten Commandments is לא תחמוד, that we should not covet. It is interesting to note that when the commandments are repeated a second time, the language changes.

In פרשת ואתחנן, the Torah says, לא תחמוד ולא תתאווה, that one should not covet, nor lust after, his friend’s possessions.

Some explain that the תחמוד leads a person to take actions that will allow him to “acquire” that which does not belong to him.

One such example would be to force his neighbor to sell something that is not for sale. The sale takes place because the neighbor does not wish to be harmed. The “purchaser” puts him through this because of his coveting that item.

The לא תתאווה of ואתחנן, refers more to a kind of lusting in one’s heart. This could be worse than the לא תחמוד, because this “lusting” can turn to obsession that gives that luster no rest. He is consumed by his feelings that he must have what his neighbor has. Because of this, despite what he possesses himself, he has no peace of mind. How sad.

There opinions that if one cannot overcome these jealous feelings, he may be violating two separate Mitzvot. One is לא תחמוד and the other is לא תתאווה.

The Meam Loez, writes that it is essential that we learn to be שמח בחלקו, happy with our own lot in life. There are always individuals who have more than us. But there also many, who have less. If we learn to appreciate what we have, and not look at what others have, we will gain so much.

Not only will we be happier and have peace of mind, but it will greatly increase our אהבת ה׳, love of G-d. How could we not love the One who gives us everything we need?

Jealousy is so destructive in so many ways. Appreciating what we have, leads to so much positive and constructive things.

Taking Advice

The question was asked as to why so much credit is given to Yitro for suggesting that Moshe get help in judging the people. Couldn’t Moshe have figured this out on his own? It would seem fairly obvious that he would need to appoint other judges to deal with easier cases.

There is an important lesson to be learned here, regarding seeking advice. One must never feel too proud not to ask others for help with a major decision.

Even Hashem Himself demonstrated this when Adam was created. The Torah tells us that Hashem said, “Let us make man,” when He certainly did not need help.

Some of the greatest leaders taught that it was possible to learn something from everyone. As long as one is not insecure and he is open to listening, there is a great deal to be learned.

Rabbi Twerski wrote that he found that doctors demonstrated such insecurities because of their big egos. They do not like being second guessed, which is really a sign of insecurity and inferiority.

In Yitro’s case, there was good reason to listen to him. He had a great deal of experience and he tried every religion in the world. Experience is a great teacher and young people, in particular, need to learn to seek the advise of those older and wiser.

Moshe could have figured things out on his own. But he wanted to set the example of learning to listen and to try to learn from everyone.

Moshe’s Devotion

Rashi describes the kind of devoted leader that Moshe Rabbeinu was. The Torah tells us that Moshe went מן ההר אל העם, from the mountain to the people.

Rashi says that Moshe did not deal with his own affairs, but went directly from the mountain to the people. The תפארת שלמה asks what possible personal affairs could Moshe have had? He was not a businessman and had no other responsibilities but serving the people.

He answers that Moshe sacrificed his own personal עבודת השם, and his own connection in serving G-d, for the benefit of the people.

His altruistic focus was on the Jewish people. He did not want them to lose the momentum of closeness to Hashem, and wanted to continue to elevate them. He did this by putting aside his own worship and connection. This shows tremendous loyalty and devotion to his people.

Partner in Creation

Shavua Tov-

Parshat Yitro is filled with numerous laws connected with judges and the enormous responsibility they have in executing justice.

The Talmud in מסכת שבת says that one who judges with true judgement, becomes a partner with Hashem in creation.

This is learned from the use of similar words in פרשת בראשית, regarding creation, and the words used in פרשת יתרו.

The Torah tells us that Moshe Rabbeinu judged the people from morning to night, מהבוקר עד הערב. The Gemara asks, did Moshe really judge from morning to evening? When would he study Torah and teach it to the people?

Since the same words are used in connection with creation, ויהי ערב ויהי בוקר, and it was evening and it was morning, we make a connection.

What is learned from the two verses is that, any judge who judges דין אמת, true judgement, becomes a partner with G-d in creation.

It goes without saying that a true judge must be a person of great faith and knowledge of Torah, in order to judge correctly. How nice it would be if all of our judges in Israel, had these qualifications.

Yitro Heard

This week we read פרשת יתרו that describes the greatest day in the history of mankind, the Revelation at Mount Sinai. Every Jew was blessed with the amazing experience of hearing G-d speak.

Despite this great event, the Parsha is named after a non-Jew named Yitro. We are told that he practiced every form of religion available in his time. He came to the realization that only the Jewish religion was true.

There is some debate as to what was the turning point that convinced Yitro to actually convert. Some say he heard of the splitting of the Red Sea, while others say it was the war with Amalek. Rashi said that it was that he heard of both incidents.

Yitro learned that when we began as a nation and we needed clear, miraculous proof of Hashem’s existence, we witnessed the Red Sea.

But he also learned with the war with Amalek, that in order to receive Divine protection, we need to do our own השתדלות, our own efforts. We are not to rely on miracles. When we do our part, Hashem steps in, and makes things happen.

This is what was meant by, “Yitro heard.” He paid attention as to how we are to relate to Hashem, and understood that this represented the ultimate truth.

Lessons from Manna

The distribution of the Manna had an important message. In a way, it was teaching social justice. No stealing was allowed and nobody was allowed to take more than his share. There was no interest taken and no unlawful enrichment. Everyone received their legitimate share.

It was another lesson in Parnassa. Hashem provides an individual with what he needs, not what he wants. There was a need to overcome the insecurity that there was not enough and more was needed.

The forty years in the desert were daily reminders that Parnassa came from Hashem. This is why the Manna was given each day, and not once a week. This realization is what gives a person peace of mind.

We are also taught that the stronger the faith, the less effort in gathering the מן. Those who believed, received it at their doorstep. The non-believers needed to go a greater distance to gather their food from Heaven.

There are many lessons to be learned from the מן about equality and faith in Hashem. And did you know that the blessing on the מן was המוציא לחם מן השמים?

Beautify the Mitzvot

The שירה, song that was sung spontaneously by the Jewish people after the drowning of the Egyptians, was quite amazing. This was a time of great revelation for all who witnessed this great event.

We are told that even the maid-servant at the sea, witnessed more prophecy than the Prophet Yechezkel.

Among the words of praise, was the phrase, זה א-לי ואנונו, this is my G-d and I will glorify Him. This Pasuk is the source for the commandment to beautify the Mitzvot.

Usually this Mitzva is connected with Succot. We are to try and purchase a beautiful Etrog, and build and adorn a beautiful Succah.

We are not to try to save money when observing the Torah. We show our love for the gift of the Mitzvot, in the manner that we observe these Mitzvot. The same is true for the Mezuzot or Tefillin we purchase, or how we celebrate Shabbat and the holidays.

The זה א-לי ואנונו sung at the Red Sea, teaches us this message.

Tu B’Shvat

On Tu B’Shvat we give praise to the fruits of Eretz Yisrael. It is also a significant date in the Jewish calendar in terms of תרומות ומעשרות, our laws of tithing.

We view our fruit trees to see if they have sprouted buds at this time of year. If they have, the tithing applies to the previous year. If they have not, the trees are counted for the coming year. This will tell us which specific tithes apply in a given year. For example, there is מעשר עני for the poor in years three and six of the cycle, or מעשר שני during the other years.

On Tu B’Shvat we are to pray for a beautiful Etrog next Succot.

The Baal Shem Tov said the word, אתרוג, is an acronym for אל תביאני רגל גאווה, that we should not be brought to an inkling of arrogance.

Somehow the message of Tu B’ Shvat is to remain humble and appreciate Hashem’s abundant gifts.

Parnassa Like Splitting the Red Sea

There is an interesting Midrash brought in the מכילתא that is a play on words, regarding the Mitzva of preparing Matzot for Pesach.

The Torah tells us, ושמרתם את המצות, that we are to guard the Matzot. We are taught to take great care, being certain that no water touches the wheat after it is harvested.

The מכילתא suggests that we should read the Pasuk slightly differently. Instead of ושמרתם את המצות, referring to Matza, we should read it as ושמרתם את המצוות, that we should take great care in observing the Mitzvot.

Just like we do not let the dough rise to become Chametz, we must not delay in the observance of the various commandments. If there is a Mitzva to perform, אל יחמיצנו, do not delay and make it like Chametz.

In Pirkei Avot we are told that a person must not say that when he has time, he will study Torah. For perhaps, he will never have time.

We are to condition ourselves to observe all Mitzvot with enthusiasm and without delay. This is learned from that little change made by the מכילתא. We are to fulfill ושמרתם את המצוות, just like we fulfill, ושמרתם את המצות.

Connecting With Our Past

Today’s Parsha tells us that Moshe Rabbeinu took the bones of Yosef out of Egypt to Eretz Yisrael. There is a Midrash that says that Serach the daughter of Asher, knew where the bones were hidden. She lived to be over 400 years old and she was in Egypt during the 210 years, the Jewish people were there, plus time in Israel.

The question was asked as to why Moshe asked Serach where the bones were? Why didn’t he ask Hashem directly?

Rabbi Twerski answers this question by explaining how important it is to keep up a connection with the great people of the previous generation. Serach knew her grandfather, Yakov, and her uncle, Yosef.

Moshe felt there was merit in hearing the details from Serach, so that he could get a glimpse of what his great ancestors were like.

There are stories of great rabbis who knew the authors of great works. They often apologized to their congregants that they had to hear these teachings from them and not from the original source.

We must never minimize the importance and contributions of our great leaders and scholars over the generations. The more we know about them, the more their teachings come alive. Moshe Rabbeinu understood this, which is why he consulted Serach and not Hashem.

Short Term Memory

This week we read פרשת בשלח and the miracle of the splitting of the Red Sea. Rabbi Twerski finds it mind boggling that on several occasions the Jewish people complained and asked to go back to Egypt.

How quickly could they forget the horrible treatment they had there. Hashem said He would take them out from סבלות מצרים, the suffering in Egypt. And now, when faced with various challenges, they wanted to go back there?

Aside from the difficulty of getting the Galut out of the Jewish mindset, there is another human failing.

It is so common for people to have selective, short term memory. And it is equally common to have the “What have you done for me lately” attitude.

The last thing stuck in the mind of the Jews was all of the gold and silver they received. They erased the slavery and mistreatment.

Unfortunately, this crooked way of thinking still exists today. People have a tendency of being disloyal and having selective memory. There isn’t enough הכרת הטוב, recognizing the good, and too much of the “What have you done for me lately.”

We must remember that nobody owes us anything and when a kindness is done by man, we must show gratitude. How much more so when that kindness comes from G-d. This is the lesson from Egypt. It’s time we all learn that message.

Importance of Seder Night

We have a reference to the importance of Seder night. We are taught not to give up on any of our children, and use the Seder as the opportunity to patiently attempt to answer the difficult questions asked by problematic questions.

We also learn of the importance of reliving the exodus from Egypt. If we are able to visualize the miraculous events that took place in Egypt, it will strengthen us.

Without this visualization, we are left to intellectualize our history. Seeing the events before our eyes, is much more powerful. With time, it’s possible to question whether these events happened naturally or were the Hand of G-d.

Ideally, we should put both the visualization and intellectualization. The two, will solidify this faith. Ideally, Seder night is meant to strengthen this faith by affording us the opportunity to both visualize and intellectualize. It might be one of the most important nights of the year.